So last night I did one of the more terrifying things I've done in life and took the stage at the Laugh Factory to do three minutes of stand-up. I've done stand-up before, just not in a venue like the Laugh Factory. Before going on stage my stomach was doing flips, my palms were sweating, and I couldn't help but wonder why on earth I put myself through this kinda stuff? I basically had the exact same feeling I used to get before every track meet, right before the 100 meter dash, that feeling that I hate. But then I realized I must be a sick twisted little person, because I think I might actually love that feeling. The other fun game I like to play with myself (usually four to five hours previous in the day) is when I will mentally list every single negative thing about doing stand-up. My list usually goes something like this:
why am I even doing this
this is so dumb
I am such a creep for wanting to do this
people will judge me
I don't have anything good to say
what's the point
what am I even hoping will come from all of this
it's such a waste of time
I talk weird
this is stupid
I'm stupid
You're stupid
(and the list goes on and on)
I'll usually beat myself up like this for awhile before I buck up and realize it's just my insecurities bitching at me. That's all it is. Anytime I think something so negative and stupid it's just because I'm scared. At which point I tell myself to stop being such a pansie and just go do it. And so I did it.
Here is the one and only photo Chris took... If you look closely enough you can see my face blended in right under the "U" and covering where "A" should be in the word "FACTORY." Thanks for the great pic, Chris.
Let me tell you, I fully expected that I was going to just blackout and suddenly forget my entire bit,
but when I took the stage and grabbed the mic and realized that I was 100% there, I was thrilled. Thrilled, I tell ya. I didn't just remember what I was going to say, I was actually pretty comfortable up there and was even able to think before speaking. It was nutty. It was also pretty fun that the guy who went before me ended his bit by making fun of ugly people from Nebraska. Naturally, that gave me a great intro to start with. From that point on, it was probably the fastest three minutes of my life.
After it was all said and done I felt much better about myself than when I first walked in the door,
which I almost didn't do I should note, I sat on a bench outside the place for a good ten minutes debating on whether or not to go in. But just as we were about to leave, I happened to notice this little sign hanging above the exit.
Because Johnny Carson is from my hometown, I guess you could say I thought it was pretty cool.
Same to you Johnny boy, same to you.