LFM #6- Happy Bday Princess Kate!

Dear Kate,

I just wanted to take this moment to wish you a very happy 30th birthday (yesterday.) What a milestone, the big 3-0! How exciting, hope you celebrated by doing lots of fun stuff. If only you had been born two days earlier you could have had the same birthday as Blue Ivy Destiny Child JayZ Carter, now how cool would that have been?

Speaking of children… I just wanted to make sure you’re not getting all frazzled and weird about being 30 like I’ve heard some women do. I know it can a be weird time and for some odd reason perfectly sane women start to go a little cray cray wondering where their life has gone and they start questioning if they’re really at where they want to be at this point in their life and blah blah blah. So just for the record, you’re not having any of these doubts, right? I mean not many women have the title of “Duchess” at age 30, so that right there is pretty cool. Or are you a princess? Some say duchess, some say princess, tomatoe tomato. And you’re beautiful, you have amazing clothes, and your teeny tiny waist has the power to start a worldwide anorexia epidemic. Hunger Games is about you, isn’t it?

Well whatever you’re doing, you look great. And not just for a 30 year old, even a 12 year old would kill to have your bod. But I’m getting sidetracked. I just wanted to say Happy Birthday! Don’t let Pippa get you down because she’s younger, or because she stole the attention at your wedding. You’re the Princess. She’s only the mistress.

LYLAS girl!


Kate’s Birthday Plans as I imagine them:

8:00 a.m.- Wake up from a blissful sleep in a pile of pink pillows already smiling

8:30-Blue birds fly in to pull back the covers and tie Kate’s hair in braids

9:00- Bathe in a shower of rainbows and glitter

9:30- Breakfast with Alice and the Harry Potter kids in Wonderland

10:00- Type out a few emails using only :)s and *s

11:00- Nap time in a meadow

12:00- Lunch with cute orphans at Applebees, waitstaff sings “Happy happy birthday, from all of us to you, the good thing is we sing for free, the bad thing is we sing off key”

1:00- Dance around room with Tiara on humming “bippity boppity boo”

2:00- Google ugly photos of Beatrice and Eugenie

3:00- Put final touches on birthday gown with the aid of the tiny hands of mice and squirrels

4:00- Feed Brutus

5:00- Cabs are here!

5:30- Prince William waits outside in the carriage looking like a handsome (British) devil

6:00- Shots! Shots! Shots!

7:00- Get sloppily ever after for the remainder of the night