Thank you for smoking.

And so another Friday has graced us with its presence yet again. How delightful. And I am happy to say that I find myself in a better position this Friday than I was last Friday. What with having a second interview on Monday for the job I interviewed for yesterday. Oh, you didn't hear? Yeah, I got a call back. Nbd. The good ol flattery and modest confidence approach, works like a charm. But for the time being, I'm sitting at Starbucks working on some articles for the Chicago magazine I am starting to write for. And I'm not talking about the fake magazine I used to write pretend articles for, this one is real. It's mostly online, but that's how our world is today. Can you imagine if Facebook were and actual book? The mini would be so outdated! It would be like the old days when someone would say "hey, did you see So & So got engaged two months ago?" Ha. I can't even begin to imagine news delayed over four minutes. How else would I have been able to know thirty seconds after Jade had gotten in her car this morning that she was "smiling all the way home thanks to a great night at Bec's." I mean that's just not news I can wait for.



So this magazine gig I got, it's part time (and yes I say gig because I am officially an artist now.) I actually got the job awhile ago, but I wanted to keep it on the DL to make sure it was legit. You know just in case I started to get the sandhills jitters and left before I even started, we all know how that tends to happen to me. But I have already written two articles, I have two more due by the 30th which is my deadline. I have deadlines now. So as soon as my articles are officially published in the online magazine I'm going to promote the shit out them. So get excited for that, I know I am. Like the working writer I am, I'm typing away at Starbucks outdoor patio when the hipster next to me has the audacity to light up a cigarette. Like are you kidding me? First of all, who smokes in the daylight anymore? And who smokes at Starbucks no less. This isn't Dunkin Donuts for Gods sake. There is clearly a sign right behind him that says "no smoking on or within 15 feet of patio," but this doucher continues to blow smoke right at me. I start coughing loudly, covering my mouth with my jacket, what else can I do to make it more obvious. So I start getting real pissed, I'm fighting every urge to tell him to put it out. But I'm just not in the mood to be the prissy bitch in the jean jacket complaining that Miley Cyrus's older brother is blowing smoke in my face. Yeah, I still love jean jackets, judge me.



But anyway, this guy keeps smoking, I keep getting more angry. Suddenly I feel just like Larry David. If he were in this situation what would he do? I know what he'd do, he'd say something. But then I could see exactly what would happen, I'd yell at this guy for smoking, he'd roll his eyes, step aside and finish it. He'd sit back down, it would be awkward for the remainder of the time. And then later on tonight when Chris and I would be out we'd happen to run into the Smoker, only it would be in a situation where Chris would be asking to bum a smoke, Smoker would initially say yes, until he noticed me and then he'd laugh and blow smoke in my face. I mean that's how it would happen if I were Larry David. In the meantime, as I was sitting at my table day dreaming all of this and picturing what a day with Larry David would actually be like, the Smoker finished his cig. Moral of the story: you should all watch Curb Your Enthusiasm on Sunday nights. It's very entertaining, which is more than I can say about Entourage this season.



I think I've said enough, I have to get back to my magazine articles. I've got a deadline to make. And after all, it's Friday, Friday, party'n party'n yeah! I know I said I wouldn't quote Rebecca Black again after she sold out and appeared in a Katy Perry video, but I can't help it! Who can stay mad at R Black? Not this girl. Not on a Friday. Not when I've got to choose between the front seat and the back seat. Party'n party'n yeah.