Long long ago on my first night of improv classes my teacher told me,
you need to know right now that improv is a late night game.
I'm a be-in-bed-by-9:30 kinda gal, so I was skeptical.
I knew either improv was going to have to change, or I was...
Improv didn't change.
It's currently 1:00 a.m. and I am just getting home from my 7:00 p.m. class.
Because a 7:00 p.m. class always turns into "wanna stay for the 10:30 show?"
which turns into the "might as well hang for the 11:30 jam session"
which of course leads to the "12:00 a.m. beers."
And I love it so much.
I love being surrounded by people who enjoy laughing at the most ridiculous things as much as I do.
But now I'm home and am way too amped to sleep, so what do I do?
I watch the Bachelor.
In my rush to leave the house tonight for class, I forgot to DVR the episode.
But luckily Chris came home around 7:30 so I only missed a little bit.
I came in right as Sean's dad was telling Catherine he'd
"be her best friend if Sean chose her."
Did I hear that right? Because that seems pretty weird to me.
But then again so does Lindsay telling Sean's dad she's,
just so excited to "hang out" with Sean forever,
while dressed in her circa 2003 pink Hollister short shorts playing make believe binoculars...
(I had those shorts. They were awesome.)
Now I'm not sure if I missed the whole Catherine/Sean segment at the beginning of the episode,
but after forty minutes in, it seemed to me like the majority of the time was spent showing
how much Lindsay loved Sean.
And when she threw out the "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you" line,
I was pretty certain that meant Sean was choosing Catherine.
But when Linds said "I've finally become the woman I've always wanted to be."
I knew for sure he chooses Cat Cat.
Why? Because that's what reality tv show producers do-
they trick the viewers while embarrassing the hell out of the people actually involved.
It's a lot like the conclave actually.
And then when Catherine got on the elephant I knew it was my cue to go to bed.
It was also 1:30 a.m. at this point.
Part II (Tuesday)
The Rose Ceremony!!!!
It's 9:00 a.m. and I am currently sitting on my couch in this prom gown,
eating Life cereal and drinking champagne.
can you guess which one is me? clue: I'm wearing ballerina slippers...
Getting ready:
Lindsay looks like she should be in the prom photo above.
And just like myself at prom, she doesn't realize this is about to be a very bad night for her.
Catherine looks like a Grecian God version of Goldfinger. But I'm okay with it.
She's doubtful she's going to get chosen, which obviously means she does.
Sean... how in the hell wasn't he married already?
He seems like he was born to be a husband.
Something smells fishy to me.
The rejection:
You guys, I usually love this part. I know it's cruel.
It's cruel in the way I used to enjoy drowning my Sims characters or locking them in bedrooms and starting the house on fire... yikes, I know.
Lindsay goes from happy, to nervous, to happy, to skeptical, to gitty, in about two seconds.
But. BUT then she sees it.
"Lindsay this is the toughest thing I've ever had to do" says Sean,
and her face goes ghost white.
But by God you guys, she took it like a champ.
I was impressed. I don't like to hug, but I wanted to hug her.
And then Sean just continued to babble even after she asked him to stop.
This should have been a red flag for her that she really actually dodged a bullet,
no one wants a husband who can't shut up.
The letter:
I could have done without the whole reading out loud in unison part.
The proposal:
Sean looks orange.
Catherine looks gold.
I bet they'll make beautiful little orangold children.
Before he got down on one knee,
Catherine had about three seconds of creepy breathy deer in the headlight faces,
it was so cute.
Then he finally asked!
And in all my Bachelor watching history, Catherine seemed as real and as excited/overcome
about this engagement as I've ever seen.
I like her. I really like her.
I bet they make it. Which means one thing
WEDDING SPECIAL!
And then it was all done.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Well I don't know about you,
but I'm kinda excited The Bachelor is over because that
means I can finally see Ndamukong Suh jump off a high board into a pool on ABCs Splash!
Seriously?
This is what our entertainment has come to?
If I want to see a chubby kid fall off a diving board I'll just go to the Norfolk public pool.
No thanks, ABC. Try a littler harder.
you need to know right now that improv is a late night game.
I'm a be-in-bed-by-9:30 kinda gal, so I was skeptical.
I knew either improv was going to have to change, or I was...
Improv didn't change.
It's currently 1:00 a.m. and I am just getting home from my 7:00 p.m. class.
Because a 7:00 p.m. class always turns into "wanna stay for the 10:30 show?"
which turns into the "might as well hang for the 11:30 jam session"
which of course leads to the "12:00 a.m. beers."
And I love it so much.
I love being surrounded by people who enjoy laughing at the most ridiculous things as much as I do.
But now I'm home and am way too amped to sleep, so what do I do?
I watch the Bachelor.
In my rush to leave the house tonight for class, I forgot to DVR the episode.
But luckily Chris came home around 7:30 so I only missed a little bit.
I came in right as Sean's dad was telling Catherine he'd
"be her best friend if Sean chose her."
Did I hear that right? Because that seems pretty weird to me.
But then again so does Lindsay telling Sean's dad she's,
just so excited to "hang out" with Sean forever,
while dressed in her circa 2003 pink Hollister short shorts playing make believe binoculars...
(I had those shorts. They were awesome.)
Now I'm not sure if I missed the whole Catherine/Sean segment at the beginning of the episode,
but after forty minutes in, it seemed to me like the majority of the time was spent showing
how much Lindsay loved Sean.
And when she threw out the "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you" line,
I was pretty certain that meant Sean was choosing Catherine.
But when Linds said "I've finally become the woman I've always wanted to be."
I knew for sure he chooses Cat Cat.
Why? Because that's what reality tv show producers do-
they trick the viewers while embarrassing the hell out of the people actually involved.
It's a lot like the conclave actually.
And then when Catherine got on the elephant I knew it was my cue to go to bed.
It was also 1:30 a.m. at this point.
Part II (Tuesday)
The Rose Ceremony!!!!
It's 9:00 a.m. and I am currently sitting on my couch in this prom gown,
eating Life cereal and drinking champagne.
Getting ready:
Lindsay looks like she should be in the prom photo above.
And just like myself at prom, she doesn't realize this is about to be a very bad night for her.
Catherine looks like a Grecian God version of Goldfinger. But I'm okay with it.
She's doubtful she's going to get chosen, which obviously means she does.
Sean... how in the hell wasn't he married already?
He seems like he was born to be a husband.
Something smells fishy to me.
The rejection:
You guys, I usually love this part. I know it's cruel.
It's cruel in the way I used to enjoy drowning my Sims characters or locking them in bedrooms and starting the house on fire... yikes, I know.
Lindsay goes from happy, to nervous, to happy, to skeptical, to gitty, in about two seconds.
But. BUT then she sees it.
"Lindsay this is the toughest thing I've ever had to do" says Sean,
and her face goes ghost white.
But by God you guys, she took it like a champ.
I was impressed. I don't like to hug, but I wanted to hug her.
And then Sean just continued to babble even after she asked him to stop.
This should have been a red flag for her that she really actually dodged a bullet,
no one wants a husband who can't shut up.
The letter:
I could have done without the whole reading out loud in unison part.
The proposal:
Sean looks orange.
Catherine looks gold.
I bet they'll make beautiful little orangold children.
Before he got down on one knee,
Catherine had about three seconds of creepy breathy deer in the headlight faces,
it was so cute.
Then he finally asked!
And in all my Bachelor watching history, Catherine seemed as real and as excited/overcome
about this engagement as I've ever seen.
I like her. I really like her.
I bet they make it. Which means one thing
WEDDING SPECIAL!
And then it was all done.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Well I don't know about you,
but I'm kinda excited The Bachelor is over because that
means I can finally see Ndamukong Suh jump off a high board into a pool on ABCs Splash!
Seriously?
This is what our entertainment has come to?
If I want to see a chubby kid fall off a diving board I'll just go to the Norfolk public pool.
No thanks, ABC. Try a littler harder.
