Seriously though,
what weekend are we supposed to celebrate the 4th this year?
This has been weighing on me for at least three months now.
When the 4th falls on a Wednesday,
do you celebrate the weekend before or after?
Basically what I want to know is
when and where are all of the fun parties with great American food
and great American beer going to be held?
We all need to be on the same page here.
God forbid I'm the only moron at the lake this weekend in my stars and stripes suit.
Then again, I don't want to save it because what if next weekend everyone is over it?
All of this stress could be spared if we just finally came together
and once and for all made the decision
that the "4th of July" will always be celebrated on the first Friday of July every year.
That's it. Period.
I guarantee you something exactly like this went down hundreds of years ago.
For all we know Thanksgiving was probably like November 24th every year
until finally the pilgrims just got tired of trying to figure out
when the parties were supposed to be held when it fell in the middle of the work week
(because we all know communication was a bit harder back then.)
So John C. Pilgrm finally took a stand and said
Makes sense to me.
I guess I have no choice but to celebrate both weekends.
This weekend in Nebraska, next weekend in Chicago.
It's really my patriotic duty.
I also felt it was my patriotic duty to buy these new flats in honor of the holiday-
what weekend are we supposed to celebrate the 4th this year?
This has been weighing on me for at least three months now.
When the 4th falls on a Wednesday,
do you celebrate the weekend before or after?
Basically what I want to know is
when and where are all of the fun parties with great American food
and great American beer going to be held?
We all need to be on the same page here.
God forbid I'm the only moron at the lake this weekend in my stars and stripes suit.
Then again, I don't want to save it because what if next weekend everyone is over it?
All of this stress could be spared if we just finally came together
and once and for all made the decision
that the "4th of July" will always be celebrated on the first Friday of July every year.
That's it. Period.
I guarantee you something exactly like this went down hundreds of years ago.
For all we know Thanksgiving was probably like November 24th every year
until finally the pilgrims just got tired of trying to figure out
when the parties were supposed to be held when it fell in the middle of the work week
(because we all know communication was a bit harder back then.)
So John C. Pilgrm finally took a stand and said
"Enoughs enough. From here on out Thanksgiving will always be on a Thursday.
Thanksgiving Thirsty Thursday."
Makes sense to me.
I guess I have no choice but to celebrate both weekends.
This weekend in Nebraska, next weekend in Chicago.
It's really my patriotic duty.
I also felt it was my patriotic duty to buy these new flats in honor of the holiday-
I'm a fan of flats.
Even in the summer I prefer them over flip flops,
and this is because of the fact I have the ugliest "big toes" ever. Literally ever.
They've been called hammer heads on more than one occasion.
If you're thinking how ugly they must be, get ready to feel bad-
When I was 15 I had a tumor in my big toe and after the emergency surgery to remove it
it has never looked the same.
But the doctors said I was just lucky to be alive it was so bad.
That's a lie. I shouldn't lie about that.
True: I did have a tumor.
However it was never deadly, it did mangle my toe a bit,
but that doesn't explain why my other toe still looks like a guerrilla foot...
I also feel its my patriotic duty today to encourage all of you to go to
Target and buy $10 worth of red, white, and blue shit in the dollar aisle.
So I'm going to host a giveaway!
Yay!
I'll announce the winner Monday so you can have the gift card
by next weekend for the post-4th of July parties.
To enter:
1. You must follow this blog
(thus the point of the giveaway)
2. You can also Tweet about it
3. Facebook about it
4. Blog about it
that's four total entries, one mandatory, three optional.
*Just go ahead and leave one comment below telling me how many entries you have.
And now let's celebrate the 4th with a few photos from last year's festivities,
Thanks Sandusky for forever ruining naked baby pics...
Oh boy I love this holiday.
Then again, I love every holiday.
But this one is especially great.
