Shit got real at the dog beach today.
Like real, real.
Some of you may have realized by now that Harlow and I go to the DB
(it's what the cool kids call it)
almost every day. You are correct.
Do I wish sometimes I could go to the human beach
and just relax without worrying if someone was peeing on my bag,
or if someone was going to try to eat everything in my bag,
or if I had enough plastic bags to pick up poop with?
Of course.
But mind you there are also homeless people at the human beach that cause these same problems.
Regardless,
I would just feel too guilty and selfish
if I was laying at the beach while my Harlow was cooped up inside on such a beautiful day.
So I make sacrifices. It's what good dog-parents do.
It's 102 degrees here today.
I usually don't get in the water, but today I had to.
And by "get in" I mean up to my ankles, sometimes shins.
So Har and I are frolicking in the water.
He's running like an idiot.
I'm holding my phone like an idiot trying to snap some photos.
And then suddenly he starts to squat,
he pees like a little girl so I initially didn't think anything of it.
But then, well, shit got real.
He starts #2ing in the WATER.
A little girl pointed and screamed
"He's pooping!"
But she might as well have screamed
"JAWS!"
Because everyone darted away from us as fast as possible.
My instincts said flee. But I knew I couldn't.
I had to face this brown shark head on.
But do you know what happens to poo in flowing water?
It starts to flow.
So I start scrambling for my plastic bag like lava is encompassing my feet with every second.
I'm jumping from one foot to the other like a dancer on acid.
Then in one swift motion I bent down and attempted to scoop the poo
into my bag.
But who knew scooping shit from water is damn near impossible.
Talk about the Deadliest Catch.
I got as much as I could into my bag, but I knew some had escaped.
There just wasn't anything else I could do at that point.
As I was walking back from dumping the bag in the trash I noticed another dog
dropping a deuce, as well.
But he was at a point in the water where no one was watching.
Which answers my life long question,
if a dog shits in the water and no one is around, does it make a sound?
No, no it doesn't.
And this got me wondering, was it sand I was walking on in the water,
or... or was it something else?
I'm not going in that water ever again.
And this is the story of the day the water turned brown.
Like real, real.
Some of you may have realized by now that Harlow and I go to the DB
(it's what the cool kids call it)
almost every day. You are correct.
Do I wish sometimes I could go to the human beach
and just relax without worrying if someone was peeing on my bag,
or if someone was going to try to eat everything in my bag,
or if I had enough plastic bags to pick up poop with?
Of course.
But mind you there are also homeless people at the human beach that cause these same problems.
Regardless,
I would just feel too guilty and selfish
if I was laying at the beach while my Harlow was cooped up inside on such a beautiful day.
So I make sacrifices. It's what good dog-parents do.
It's 102 degrees here today.
I usually don't get in the water, but today I had to.
And by "get in" I mean up to my ankles, sometimes shins.
So Har and I are frolicking in the water.
He's running like an idiot.
I'm holding my phone like an idiot trying to snap some photos.
And then suddenly he starts to squat,
he pees like a little girl so I initially didn't think anything of it.
But then, well, shit got real.
He starts #2ing in the WATER.
A little girl pointed and screamed
"He's pooping!"
But she might as well have screamed
"JAWS!"
Because everyone darted away from us as fast as possible.
My instincts said flee. But I knew I couldn't.
I had to face this brown shark head on.
But do you know what happens to poo in flowing water?
It starts to flow.
So I start scrambling for my plastic bag like lava is encompassing my feet with every second.
I'm jumping from one foot to the other like a dancer on acid.
Then in one swift motion I bent down and attempted to scoop the poo
into my bag.
But who knew scooping shit from water is damn near impossible.
Talk about the Deadliest Catch.
I got as much as I could into my bag, but I knew some had escaped.
There just wasn't anything else I could do at that point.
As I was walking back from dumping the bag in the trash I noticed another dog
dropping a deuce, as well.
But he was at a point in the water where no one was watching.
Which answers my life long question,
if a dog shits in the water and no one is around, does it make a sound?
No, no it doesn't.
And this got me wondering, was it sand I was walking on in the water,
or... or was it something else?
I'm not going in that water ever again.
And this is the story of the day the water turned brown.
