I think I've finally decided why I continue to watch The Bachelor.
Because it makes me incredibly uncomfortable.
From the very beginning when we saw Sean walking around in his black briefs from an inappropriately low camera angle,
to the very end when we see Tierra calling herself a "strong and independent woman"
who occasionally falls down the stairs.
Let me break this down for you.
Things that made me uncomfortable during Selma's 1 on 1:
The constant hand holding.
Chris and I have dated for almost five and a half years,
you want to know many times we've held hands in public?
Twice.
One time was on accident, and I'm pretty sure the other time we were mocking someone.
And then there was Selma's very subtle "I only weigh 110 pounds" comment.
I don't need to know that you're one and a half Olsen twins smaller than me.
But just so we're clear I do kinda like Selma.
She seems like the cute little baby-talking girl I could never be,
"I feel like a princess in a castle" comment and all.
I've said I feel like a lot things before in my life,
but a "princess in a castle" is certainly not one of them.
I think I need to change that. I wanna know what a princess feels like, damn it.
Things that made me uncomfortable during the group date:
How about these outfits for starters...
Grown women dressed like a bunch of sixth graders on their first date at the roller rink is not a good look for anyone.
And watching Sarah fall and not be able to get up?
C'mon ABC, be a little more sensitive. This isn't a Life Alert commercial for God's sake.
I really felt bad for her! I can barely get up with two arms.
And speaking of falling, we can't forget Amanda's "jaw thing."
You know what bugs me? When unathletic girls get
"sports related" injuries and they suddenly act like they've lost a limb.
(No offense, Sarah.)
The jock in me rarely gets feisty in my old age, but back in the day I used to run suicides on a
broken ankle/stress fractured foot/all with a tumor the size of a grapefruit growing in my toe.
So sorry Amanda, I don't have sympathy for your "sore jaw,"
I have a feeling this isn't the first time you've hadlock sore jaw anyway.
And sidenote Tierra,
you better be careful how you so casually throw the term "torture" around.
For all you know there's an entire group of prisoners at Guantanamo watching every Monday night,
and they were probably quite offended with your cavalier definition of "torture."
Know your audience, Tierra Tequila. Know your damn audience!
Things that made me uncomfortable with Leslie's 1 on 1:
Well, I'm just gonna start by saying I truly like Leslie.
She's seems a little more real than most.
That being said, I was quite uncomfortable with her idea of "every girl's dream!"
i.e. trying on dresses in front of a guy.
Then again, this is coming from a girl who used to cry when my mom would take me Homecoming dress shopping. My teens were tough years...
To say I would be a little uneasy trying on dresses as a "first date" might be a bit of an understatement.
Regardless, when Sean didn't give Leslie the rose I was disappointed,
but not surprised.
Things that made me uncomfortable during the rose ceremony:
Amanda's 90's goth lipstick
Leslie's cherry red lipstick
When Daniella got a rose. Who is this girl? Bet she snuck on set at the roller rink.
Chris Harrison breathing.
But you know who didn't get a rose but I think definitely should have?
This guy.
And that pretty much sums up my discomfort for this episode.
Looks like next week Tierra gets hurt again. Weird.
Can't wait to see how that turns out.
This has been another edition.
Until next week, Bachelor friends.
Because it makes me incredibly uncomfortable.
From the very beginning when we saw Sean walking around in his black briefs from an inappropriately low camera angle,
to the very end when we see Tierra calling herself a "strong and independent woman"
who occasionally falls down the stairs.
Let me break this down for you.
Things that made me uncomfortable during Selma's 1 on 1:
The constant hand holding.
Chris and I have dated for almost five and a half years,
you want to know many times we've held hands in public?
Twice.
One time was on accident, and I'm pretty sure the other time we were mocking someone.
And then there was Selma's very subtle "I only weigh 110 pounds" comment.
I don't need to know that you're one and a half Olsen twins smaller than me.
But just so we're clear I do kinda like Selma.
She seems like the cute little baby-talking girl I could never be,
"I feel like a princess in a castle" comment and all.
I've said I feel like a lot things before in my life,
but a "princess in a castle" is certainly not one of them.
I think I need to change that. I wanna know what a princess feels like, damn it.
Things that made me uncomfortable during the group date:
How about these outfits for starters...
Grown women dressed like a bunch of sixth graders on their first date at the roller rink is not a good look for anyone.
And watching Sarah fall and not be able to get up?
C'mon ABC, be a little more sensitive. This isn't a Life Alert commercial for God's sake.
I really felt bad for her! I can barely get up with two arms.
And speaking of falling, we can't forget Amanda's "jaw thing."
"sports related" injuries and they suddenly act like they've lost a limb.
(No offense, Sarah.)
The jock in me rarely gets feisty in my old age, but back in the day I used to run suicides on a
broken ankle/stress fractured foot/all with a tumor the size of a grapefruit growing in my toe.
So sorry Amanda, I don't have sympathy for your "sore jaw,"
I have a feeling this isn't the first time you've had
And sidenote Tierra,
you better be careful how you so casually throw the term "torture" around.
For all you know there's an entire group of prisoners at Guantanamo watching every Monday night,
and they were probably quite offended with your cavalier definition of "torture."
Know your audience, Tierra Tequila. Know your damn audience!
Things that made me uncomfortable with Leslie's 1 on 1:
Well, I'm just gonna start by saying I truly like Leslie.
She's seems a little more real than most.
That being said, I was quite uncomfortable with her idea of "every girl's dream!"
i.e. trying on dresses in front of a guy.
Then again, this is coming from a girl who used to cry when my mom would take me Homecoming dress shopping. My teens were tough years...
To say I would be a little uneasy trying on dresses as a "first date" might be a bit of an understatement.
Regardless, when Sean didn't give Leslie the rose I was disappointed,
but not surprised.
Things that made me uncomfortable during the rose ceremony:
Amanda's 90's goth lipstick
Leslie's cherry red lipstick
When Daniella got a rose. Who is this girl? Bet she snuck on set at the roller rink.
Chris Harrison breathing.
But you know who didn't get a rose but I think definitely should have?
This guy.
And that pretty much sums up my discomfort for this episode.
Looks like next week Tierra gets hurt again. Weird.
Can't wait to see how that turns out.
This has been another edition.
Until next week, Bachelor friends.
