Bachelor Edition: Getting all fancy

And so we begin with another helicopter. Shocker. From now on can we stop calling this show The Bachelor and instead refer to it as Helicopter Rides?

Ben... Looks uglier than ever. I know that was rude, but we were all thinking it. His hair is growing longer, his face is redder, and his overall attitude is just getting uber bitchy and annoying. And I'm still trying to figure out why he had the bod of a 13 year old teenage girl on the brink of outgrowing her chubby stage while prancing around in that loin cloth...

And now on to my favorite quotes from the night.

Ben- "I can definitely tell my wife is in this room." I guess it's like they always say, when you know you know. and Chris Harrison will tell you.

Kacie B.- "Watching Ben crack open a coconut is just like so hot." And I used to be ana. Standard.

Courtney- "I just want to feel special. So come to room 1611." insert lisp, lip pucker, and sidemouth Angelica Pickles smirk. Get out.

Lindzi- "I don't believe in fighting. Only bronzer."

Emily- "I'm not going to talk about Courtney any more." YOU NEED TO GET OVER COURTNEY, it's gotten to the point of scary town.

Jamie- "I'm trying so hard." Holy shit stop talking. No one knows you. Why are you still talking? And that whole "fancy scene" was the most painfully embarrassing thing I have ever witnessed. My heart really goes out to Jamie during tonight's episode as she presumably sat at home on her couch (alone) and cut herself with a razor in numerous perfect fancy strokes.

Nikki- "I talk in twang and look like I'm 45."

Casey- "That's not true. It's not true. He's never gonna change. Wait. What are we talking about again? Maybe I need therapy. I want a puppy. Giggles."

At least her bf at home is... cute?

2 Girls. One Cup Rose:

Blakely- "I can't wait to see Ben! I'm so excited! I love Ben. I can't wait. I'm so excited. I can't wait. I love him. I'm going to eat him. I can't wait! I'm going to KILL HIM! I'm so excited. I'm so. So so scared." And did she really make him a scrap book?! No! Too much. Too much good stuff in this crazy Blakely/Miley/PartyintheUSA moment.

Rachel- "I just need a cigarette" ...

And the MVP for tonight goes to ... Jamie!!! She was the breakout star fo sho. I just wish she would have brought out her "fancy" side 3 episodes ago.

Already miss ya girl! LYLAS!

Bachelorette 2013? I think so.