Because I just can't get enough of the hundreds of political commercials
that are playing all day every day.
I figured I'd toss one more into the mix.
My name is Taylor Wolfe, and I approve this message.
Born and raised in the Midwest, Taylor knows the worth
of a hard earned dollar.
An entrepreneur since day one, she once started an underground candy ring
in the second grade.
"I wasn't happy about it, but she sure did make a lot of money."
-Taylor's mom, regarding how Taylor stole candy from home to bring to school.
She's a hard worker, and has never just been handed anything in life.
When Taylor wanted to remodel her bedroom (like those from the Limited Two magazine)
she had to personally scrape off seventy two layers of old wall paper to make this dream come true.
that are playing all day every day.
I figured I'd toss one more into the mix.
My name is Taylor Wolfe, and I approve this message.
Born and raised in the Midwest, Taylor knows the worth
of a hard earned dollar.
An entrepreneur since day one, she once started an underground candy ring
in the second grade.
"I wasn't happy about it, but she sure did make a lot of money."
-Taylor's mom, regarding how Taylor stole candy from home to bring to school.
She's a hard worker, and has never just been handed anything in life.
When Taylor wanted to remodel her bedroom (like those from the Limited Two magazine)
she had to personally scrape off seventy two layers of old wall paper to make this dream come true.
When asked about tax cuts, Taylor's response was this-
"I'd raise taxes on reality stars.
Cut taxes at clothing stores.
And make Turbo Tax Online free for all."
In 1997 she voted against going outside for recess, in favor of staying inside
to play Heads Up 7 Up.
The rest of the class agreed.
Then in 2007 she voted against kicking out a fellow sorority sister for
"lewd acts in a fraternity."
The sister was allowed to stay.
And she was allowed to stay again in 2008 when caught doing the same
"lewd act" in a different frat house.
In 2011 a neighbor said this about Taylor-
"I once saw her dog take a dump in my yard, I noticed she didn't have a bag so I was interested to see what she'd do. Well.. she found a huge leaf and by golly she picked up that shit.
It was disgusting, but honorable."
Taylor is not afraid to get a little shit on her hands to get the job done.
When asked about her thoughts regarding the ever growing gang problems
in inner cities, Taylor responded with this inspiring story-
"In West Philadelphia, he was born and raised.
On the playground is where he spent most of his days.
Chillen out, maxin, relaxin all cool,
Shootin some b-ball outside the school.
When a couple of guys, who were up to no good,
Started making trouble in his neighborhood.
He got into one little fight, and his mom got scared,
She said "you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air."
She then went to finish the tale of a courageous young man who grew up to be a Prince.
When asked about her thoughts on abortion, Taylor simply quoted this line from Knocked Up.
"Abortion-Shmashmortion."
Taylor stands strong in the fight against stick figure stickers on cars.
She believes Crocs were the biggest mistake ever.
She believes in equality for all.
She feels marriage should be a sacred union shared only between
two people who are in love.
Or three. Or four. Whatever. Why put restrictions on love.
"One time I asked for a dollar and she gave me a scratch card."
-Homeless Man outside 7-11.
As a young, successful, career woman, Taylor plans to crack that glass ceiling,
one dirty look at a time.
Most importantly, Taylor has the solution for our struggling economy.
She say's there's no reason to over complicate it, the answer is simple.
"Just print more money."
It always worked for her in Monopoly.
My name is Taylor Wolfe, and I approve this message.
