I did it.
As of yesterday at 7:00 p.m. I officially became a student of the Second City.
Naturally, I sat in the wrong classroom for the first ten minutes until I asked the girl next to me to confirm I was in the right place.
She confirmed I was in the wrong.
So I walked next door into a room full of animated 20somethings talking loudly
and obnoxiously in a manner that made me want to walk right back out.
"What's your name? Why are you here? Where are you from?"
They all drilled me the second I walked in.
My defensive walls of sarcasm instantly shot up around me.
Say something cynical. Or snotty. Or funny. Just don't look vulnerable!
-the little bitch demon on my shoulder spat into my ear.
But I refused. I was here to join this loud group, not separate myself from it.
If I put up walls now, I was in for a long eight weeks.
So I played along.
And the moment our instructor walked in I knew I was in the right place.
Booger. From Revenge of the Nerds.
Booger is my teacher.
Well, he claims his name is Bryan.
But if he talks like Booger. And looks like Booger. He's got to be Booger.
He walked in and said,
"I don't know why you're here, maybe it's a hobby, maybe you want to be on Saturday Night Live..."
And right there I kinda got chills.
Because never before had I found myself at a place in life where someone actually suggested this was a possibility.
A slim, oh so slim possibility, but a possibility never the less.
And I knew I was in the right place.
We proceeded to do all sorts of bizarre warm up activities and exercises.
I was made painfully uncomfortable on more than one occasion.
For example: at one point we had to line up against the wall, from shortest to tallest,
without talking and while keeping our eyes closed the entire time!!!
Do you know how much touching that requires?
I wanted to die.
And then we had to hold hands with each other several times.
Again, touching.
Touching and holding hands with strangers.
Two things I really hate.
And then more weird sound games, like zip, zap, zop.
And buzz. And schwoosh.
If you've never taken an acting class you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Just know it's as bizarre as it sounds.
Bottom line is this- I'm happy I went.
And I'm even kind of excited to go back...
But for now I need to run to 7/11 and grab my 27th Naked Juice of the day.
When I'm sick, it's all I want.
Lots and lots of empty calories of thick fruit juice.
Yumbo.
And then it's back to the couch.
Harlow and I have two more episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras to watch before
Honey Boo Boo comes on tonight.
See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya.
As of yesterday at 7:00 p.m. I officially became a student of the Second City.
Naturally, I sat in the wrong classroom for the first ten minutes until I asked the girl next to me to confirm I was in the right place.
She confirmed I was in the wrong.
So I walked next door into a room full of animated 20somethings talking loudly
and obnoxiously in a manner that made me want to walk right back out.
"What's your name? Why are you here? Where are you from?"
They all drilled me the second I walked in.
My defensive walls of sarcasm instantly shot up around me.
Say something cynical. Or snotty. Or funny. Just don't look vulnerable!
-the little bitch demon on my shoulder spat into my ear.
But I refused. I was here to join this loud group, not separate myself from it.
If I put up walls now, I was in for a long eight weeks.
So I played along.
And the moment our instructor walked in I knew I was in the right place.
Booger. From Revenge of the Nerds.
Booger is my teacher.
Well, he claims his name is Bryan.
But if he talks like Booger. And looks like Booger. He's got to be Booger.
He walked in and said,
"I don't know why you're here, maybe it's a hobby, maybe you want to be on Saturday Night Live..."
And right there I kinda got chills.
Because never before had I found myself at a place in life where someone actually suggested this was a possibility.
A slim, oh so slim possibility, but a possibility never the less.
And I knew I was in the right place.
We proceeded to do all sorts of bizarre warm up activities and exercises.
I was made painfully uncomfortable on more than one occasion.
For example: at one point we had to line up against the wall, from shortest to tallest,
without talking and while keeping our eyes closed the entire time!!!
Do you know how much touching that requires?
I wanted to die.
And then we had to hold hands with each other several times.
Again, touching.
Touching and holding hands with strangers.
Two things I really hate.
And then more weird sound games, like zip, zap, zop.
And buzz. And schwoosh.
If you've never taken an acting class you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Just know it's as bizarre as it sounds.
Bottom line is this- I'm happy I went.
And I'm even kind of excited to go back...
But for now I need to run to 7/11 and grab my 27th Naked Juice of the day.
When I'm sick, it's all I want.
Lots and lots of empty calories of thick fruit juice.
Yumbo.
And then it's back to the couch.
Harlow and I have two more episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras to watch before
Honey Boo Boo comes on tonight.
See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya.
