Hey There College,
I woke up today craving a Bloody Mary and I thought of you.
I see you're about to start again.
This was always a good weekend for us, you and I.
Remember that one time we got a ride back to the sorority from that really nice police man?
Officer Gaylord was his name, at least that's what we called him.
Or how about that time we followed the hot dog guy around the stadium that first game day
and demanded he let us shoot wieners into the stands?
Yea, that was fun.
And there was the time you convinced Kate and I to throw a pre parochial-party in our tiny dorm room of 828?
Classic College, always up to no good.
I've seen on Facebook you're still up to your old shenanigans.
Although, I'm seeing less and less of you lately since babies and weddings
are cramming my damn mini feed as of late.
I bet when you created Fb with Zucky seven years ago you never expected it to be a place
where moms can tell the world how much their baby shit that day, huh?
What can you do. As life progresses, unfortunately so does the mini feed.
I just can't believe it's already been four years since we had our last
"first weekend" together.
It's funny, because at one point I swear I heard someone say you were supposed
to get me ready for the working world, dear college.
Or was that just your dick cousin, Real World, who said that?
Because if I remember correctly,
you pretty much just set me back a good five years from ever being "ready" for real life.
I was more prepared in high school when I was forced to get up every morning on time,
obey the rules, be told what to do,
and follow a strict schedule like I was a Marine or something.
But then you took me in your graces and introduced me to a world of
musty basement parties.
No class Fridays. Tastey Tuesdays. Whynot Wednesdays. Mightaswell Mondays.
Fifteen hour tailgates.
Bus rides to Boss Hogs. Bus rides to Cornhusker Social Hall.
(sidenote- why did it never seem super hickish to me at the time we often partied at a place called Cornhusker Social Hall?)
with an old man in overalls...
Dancing like an idiot at the Rail.
Drinking like an idiot at the Bar.
Eating pizza at three in the morning.
Pretending Greek Row was its own wet campus. Wait, it wasn't?
Staggering into the Union for Sbarro, Runza, and that weird market downstairs.
Sleeping in forever and ever and ever.
Dress-up parties...
So College, there was a lot of things you didn't teach me.
I'll be real honest.
Making a sales report? What's that.
Excel? If I can figure out one spread sheet, it's been a good day.
Creating an expense report? What does that even mean.
Doing my taxes? Might as well say doing my schmaxes.
Saving for a house? Figuring out a mortgage? Sales force? Tracking my activity?
Setting up online bill pay? Conference calls? Staying late? Going in early? This is real?!?!
None of it matters. Because what you taught me, College, is much more important.
You taught me how to enjoy life.
So I won't pretend I don't still miss you. I do.
But I am adjusting to real life a little more every day.
And I've come to the point where I am no longer sad I left you.
I'm just happy it happened.
Maybe I'll see ya around, I heard football season is coming up or something?
And like you've always said-
Life's like a keg cup,
there might be a little foam on top,
but once you get through that, there is always something good waiting.
Unless it's Busch Light. In that case, thanks, but no thanks.
(And sorry, I'm not sorry I've been posting about college a lot...
It's just that time of year.)
Happy Friday, everyone.
Go find your inner college self.
I woke up today craving a Bloody Mary and I thought of you.
I see you're about to start again.
This was always a good weekend for us, you and I.
Remember that one time we got a ride back to the sorority from that really nice police man?
Officer Gaylord was his name, at least that's what we called him.
Or how about that time we followed the hot dog guy around the stadium that first game day
and demanded he let us shoot wieners into the stands?
Yea, that was fun.
And there was the time you convinced Kate and I to throw a pre parochial-party in our tiny dorm room of 828?
Classic College, always up to no good.
I've seen on Facebook you're still up to your old shenanigans.
Although, I'm seeing less and less of you lately since babies and weddings
are cramming my damn mini feed as of late.
I bet when you created Fb with Zucky seven years ago you never expected it to be a place
where moms can tell the world how much their baby shit that day, huh?
What can you do. As life progresses, unfortunately so does the mini feed.
I just can't believe it's already been four years since we had our last
"first weekend" together.
It's funny, because at one point I swear I heard someone say you were supposed
to get me ready for the working world, dear college.
Or was that just your dick cousin, Real World, who said that?
Because if I remember correctly,
you pretty much just set me back a good five years from ever being "ready" for real life.
I was more prepared in high school when I was forced to get up every morning on time,
obey the rules, be told what to do,
and follow a strict schedule like I was a Marine or something.
But then you took me in your graces and introduced me to a world of
musty basement parties.
No class Fridays. Tastey Tuesdays. Whynot Wednesdays. Mightaswell Mondays.
Fifteen hour tailgates.
Bus rides to Boss Hogs. Bus rides to Cornhusker Social Hall.
(sidenote- why did it never seem super hickish to me at the time we often partied at a place called Cornhusker Social Hall?)
with an old man in overalls...
Dancing like an idiot at the Rail.
Drinking like an idiot at the Bar.
Eating pizza at three in the morning.
Pretending Greek Row was its own wet campus. Wait, it wasn't?
Staggering into the Union for Sbarro, Runza, and that weird market downstairs.
Sleeping in forever and ever and ever.
Dress-up parties...
So College, there was a lot of things you didn't teach me.
I'll be real honest.
Making a sales report? What's that.
Excel? If I can figure out one spread sheet, it's been a good day.
Creating an expense report? What does that even mean.
Doing my taxes? Might as well say doing my schmaxes.
Saving for a house? Figuring out a mortgage? Sales force? Tracking my activity?
Setting up online bill pay? Conference calls? Staying late? Going in early? This is real?!?!
None of it matters. Because what you taught me, College, is much more important.
You taught me how to enjoy life.
So I won't pretend I don't still miss you. I do.
But I am adjusting to real life a little more every day.
And I've come to the point where I am no longer sad I left you.
I'm just happy it happened.
Maybe I'll see ya around, I heard football season is coming up or something?
And like you've always said-
Life's like a keg cup,
there might be a little foam on top,
but once you get through that, there is always something good waiting.
Unless it's Busch Light. In that case, thanks, but no thanks.
(And sorry, I'm not sorry I've been posting about college a lot...
It's just that time of year.)
Happy Friday, everyone.
Go find your inner college self.
