Tis the season my friends,
tis the season for engagements.
In case you haven't been on Facebook for the past week, let me fill you in on what you've missed:
"Today my best friend asked me to marry him!"
"She said yes!"
"I just became the happiest girl in the world!"
"I get to marry the girl of my dreams!"
ext and so forth.
And I'm loving it. I'm a big fan of engagements.
If you're having an engagement party soon, you should invite me.
I'll make a toast even, it'll be great.
I've heard of some naysayers who hate this time of year,
and maybe it's because I'm in a good relationship,
or the fact I live in a city where people don't typically even think about marriage until 28ish
(I think the only ring single gals in Chicago care about is the Nuva ring)
but I honestly love engagement season.
And because I'm a huge creep when it comes to Facebook life,
I've come to the conclusion there are essentially three types of newly engaged people on social media:
1. The "Tell All Spare No Details" People
This package includes constant status updates leading up to the actual engagement,
mobile pics of the boy on his knee (taken by family members hiding)
the girl crying, hugging,
and then 72 (sometimes 75ish) shots of the ring.
2. The "I Can't Believe This Just Happened" People
This package includes a status update or two, but they are much more vague:
"I can't believe this finally happened! I am so happy!"
Followed by some shots of the actual engagement (just a few)
and then maybe one ring pic.
And I saved the best for last-
3. The Mysterious "Tell Nothing" People
Gotta admit, this is my favorite type.
I love the couples who are super nonchalant and make you work for your information.
They don't post anything. They don't have photos.
The only way you find out is when the wall posts start coming in from close friends.
And to whoever that close friend is who gets the honor of writing the first "congrats" on the wall,
to that I say, touche. Touche.
And when a girl doesn't immediately post a pic of her ring?
Well done, keep the creepers waiting.
And now, because I'm in the mood to do so,
I'm going to post a chapter from a small book I wrote a few years ago called,
Facebook Girl-
The girl we want to hate, but love to creep.
Chapter 16
Going to the chapel, and I'm gonna update my status.
Something old, something new, something borrowed,
and something Facebook blue.
It all begins with the status update "is engaged!" And with those two little words the congratulations begin to flood your wall. The girl who sat next to you your sophomore year of college in Geology gets to tell you how happy she is for you before even your grandma has the chance (unless grandma is on Facebook.) Within hours the entire engagement event is posted into an album. We get to see every sweet detail the fiancé planned, from clues hidden around the house to ending up in a party room with- Surprise! Family and friends waiting to celebrate. It's all very sweet, sometimes when I'm looking through these albums I'll pour myself a glass of champagne to pretend I'm right there celebrating. But then I remember I don't even know the bride or the groom but just happened to land at their party after hours of creeping.
I blame Facebook for the rise of frantic young girls seeking an engagement.
More specifically, I mean frantic young single girls trying to find someone to date for
6-8 months, so it won't be too soon when they announce they're engagement via Fb. Hell, I get tempted to get engaged based solely on the fact champagne is my favorite drink ever. And then throw in the mass amount of wall attention the bride-to-be gets, we're talking more attention than a birthday even. You've got the well wishers who actually write stuff, but you've also got the jealous creepers who just creep hoping to get a few more details. Then there are parties for the bride every other week- oh, and the groom too, he gets to come as well. And a pretty ring and presents and at least ten of her closest friends on their best behavior anxiously awaiting the wedding party to be announced. Doesn't sound too bad to me, either. But then I remember that marriage typically coincides with an engagement, as well as a wedding, so I am able to relax for a few years.
So after Facebook Girl has gone through years of torture and heartbreak, gradually her relationship status begins to change less and less. And finally it seems Fb girl's wishes are coming true, she has found the Affliction man of her dreams! But this doesn't come as a huge shock as we have seen a few posts from her regarding "ring shopping with my love..." and "princess cut or oval?" Not only does she not want a surprise engagement, she doesn't want the Facebook world to be surprised, either. I think that's very considerate.
As expected, her Facebook life becomes her Facebook wedding planning life. Facebook fills the role of wedding planner, "what flowers go good with a June wedding?" Mother of the bride,"my mom wants to wear a grey dress that I think looks creme, should I let her?" And even shrink, "I am so stressed right now, I just don't know what's right or not anymore!" How reassuring for the groom, he probably doesn't realize she's talking about napkin color.
Every step of the way it seems Facebook is there documenting it to the very last detail.
FbGirl: "So much to plan in so little time how am I going to do it?!"
Ah yes, I forget you are the first bride to ever plan a wedding.
FbGirl: "Got the church, reception hall and band booked. Happy to check the big things off! So far so good!"
Now just to find a groom...
FbGirl: "Trying on more dresses. Should I do ivory or white? Strap less or sleeves?
Lace or flowers?"
Take photos of all of them and put them into an album and let all your Facebook friends vote on their favorite!
FbGirl: "Two weeks and counting until the big day. Hopefully all the planning pays off and we have the best wedding ever!"
Yes, I've heard it's all downhill after the Wedding.
FbGirl: "So excited! Just about to walk down the aisle!"
Quick! Send a mobile photo to Facebook with that exact caption!
Oh, how Facebook never ceases to let me down.
Where would the world be without it.
And that's all I've got for today.
Happy Engagement Season, everyone.
And PS-
Cyber Monday's over, but that means today is Taytuesday!
So use the code: Taytuesday and get 30% off all ads.
Every single one of them. Exciting stuff, I know.
tis the season for engagements.
In case you haven't been on Facebook for the past week, let me fill you in on what you've missed:
"Today my best friend asked me to marry him!"
"She said yes!"
"I just became the happiest girl in the world!"
"I get to marry the girl of my dreams!"
ext and so forth.
And I'm loving it. I'm a big fan of engagements.
If you're having an engagement party soon, you should invite me.
I'll make a toast even, it'll be great.
I've heard of some naysayers who hate this time of year,
and maybe it's because I'm in a good relationship,
or the fact I live in a city where people don't typically even think about marriage until 28ish
(I think the only ring single gals in Chicago care about is the Nuva ring)
but I honestly love engagement season.
And because I'm a huge creep when it comes to Facebook life,
I've come to the conclusion there are essentially three types of newly engaged people on social media:
1. The "Tell All Spare No Details" People
This package includes constant status updates leading up to the actual engagement,
mobile pics of the boy on his knee (taken by family members hiding)
the girl crying, hugging,
and then 72 (sometimes 75ish) shots of the ring.
2. The "I Can't Believe This Just Happened" People
This package includes a status update or two, but they are much more vague:
"I can't believe this finally happened! I am so happy!"
Followed by some shots of the actual engagement (just a few)
and then maybe one ring pic.
And I saved the best for last-
3. The Mysterious "Tell Nothing" People
Gotta admit, this is my favorite type.
I love the couples who are super nonchalant and make you work for your information.
They don't post anything. They don't have photos.
The only way you find out is when the wall posts start coming in from close friends.
And to whoever that close friend is who gets the honor of writing the first "congrats" on the wall,
to that I say, touche. Touche.
And when a girl doesn't immediately post a pic of her ring?
Well done, keep the creepers waiting.
And now, because I'm in the mood to do so,
I'm going to post a chapter from a small book I wrote a few years ago called,
Facebook Girl-
The girl we want to hate, but love to creep.
Chapter 16
Going to the chapel, and I'm gonna update my status.
Something old, something new, something borrowed,
and something Facebook blue.
It all begins with the status update "is engaged!" And with those two little words the congratulations begin to flood your wall. The girl who sat next to you your sophomore year of college in Geology gets to tell you how happy she is for you before even your grandma has the chance (unless grandma is on Facebook.) Within hours the entire engagement event is posted into an album. We get to see every sweet detail the fiancé planned, from clues hidden around the house to ending up in a party room with- Surprise! Family and friends waiting to celebrate. It's all very sweet, sometimes when I'm looking through these albums I'll pour myself a glass of champagne to pretend I'm right there celebrating. But then I remember I don't even know the bride or the groom but just happened to land at their party after hours of creeping.
I blame Facebook for the rise of frantic young girls seeking an engagement.
More specifically, I mean frantic young single girls trying to find someone to date for
6-8 months, so it won't be too soon when they announce they're engagement via Fb. Hell, I get tempted to get engaged based solely on the fact champagne is my favorite drink ever. And then throw in the mass amount of wall attention the bride-to-be gets, we're talking more attention than a birthday even. You've got the well wishers who actually write stuff, but you've also got the jealous creepers who just creep hoping to get a few more details. Then there are parties for the bride every other week- oh, and the groom too, he gets to come as well. And a pretty ring and presents and at least ten of her closest friends on their best behavior anxiously awaiting the wedding party to be announced. Doesn't sound too bad to me, either. But then I remember that marriage typically coincides with an engagement, as well as a wedding, so I am able to relax for a few years.
So after Facebook Girl has gone through years of torture and heartbreak, gradually her relationship status begins to change less and less. And finally it seems Fb girl's wishes are coming true, she has found the Affliction man of her dreams! But this doesn't come as a huge shock as we have seen a few posts from her regarding "ring shopping with my love..." and "princess cut or oval?" Not only does she not want a surprise engagement, she doesn't want the Facebook world to be surprised, either. I think that's very considerate.
As expected, her Facebook life becomes her Facebook wedding planning life. Facebook fills the role of wedding planner, "what flowers go good with a June wedding?" Mother of the bride,"my mom wants to wear a grey dress that I think looks creme, should I let her?" And even shrink, "I am so stressed right now, I just don't know what's right or not anymore!" How reassuring for the groom, he probably doesn't realize she's talking about napkin color.
Every step of the way it seems Facebook is there documenting it to the very last detail.
FbGirl: "So much to plan in so little time how am I going to do it?!"
Ah yes, I forget you are the first bride to ever plan a wedding.
FbGirl: "Got the church, reception hall and band booked. Happy to check the big things off! So far so good!"
Now just to find a groom...
FbGirl: "Trying on more dresses. Should I do ivory or white? Strap less or sleeves?
Lace or flowers?"
Take photos of all of them and put them into an album and let all your Facebook friends vote on their favorite!
FbGirl: "Two weeks and counting until the big day. Hopefully all the planning pays off and we have the best wedding ever!"
Yes, I've heard it's all downhill after the Wedding.
FbGirl: "So excited! Just about to walk down the aisle!"
Quick! Send a mobile photo to Facebook with that exact caption!
Oh, how Facebook never ceases to let me down.
Where would the world be without it.
And that's all I've got for today.
Happy Engagement Season, everyone.
And PS-
Cyber Monday's over, but that means today is Taytuesday!
So use the code: Taytuesday and get 30% off all ads.
Every single one of them. Exciting stuff, I know.
