Because I just watched an interview with Obama and Romney
on 60 Minutes last Sunday, I now feel it's my social and moral obligation
as an American blogger to write a quick analysis on both candidates.
For those who are concerned, please note that what I am about to say is based on almost zero facts, much of it has nothing to do with politics,
it's mostly all hearsay, and is almost entirely my own bullshit opinion.
So take it for what it's worth. And if I offend you,
well I don't really care if I offend you so I'm not even going to address that.
And now a political post from someone who knows almost nothing about politics.
Am I ashamed regarding my lack of knowledge?
Absolutely.
Am I going to change it? Probably not.
I suppose I should start by letting you know that I am a Republican.
However, I do have many Democratic views.
Free pot for all! Jk. But seriously.
Like 94% of voters in this country, my political position was given to me at birth.
And if Lady Gaga says it's okay, well then why would I change? I was born this way.
Did I mention I like to make up stats? That might be good to know going forward.
Obama vs Romney
They're both rocking the Cruella Deville 'do.
Black or grey, gentlemen? Let's make a choice and stick with it.
(And Romney- you can afford to buy factories. Now go buy some Crest White strips stat.)
If you put their last names together it sounds like some sort of 60s sock hop.
"Hey June, are you going to the Obama-Romney sock hop on Friday?"
"Well yes, Cleav. I can't wait to do the Obama-Romney, it's the bees knees!"
And if you put their first names together, it sounds like some sort white collar high crime from Law and Under..
"He's being charged with Barackmitt. On two accounts!"
{gasp}
I also thought their first names sounded like Jock-Itch.
But this is when I thought Mitt's name was Mitch.. (BarackMitch.)
Did I ever tell you how my college roomy thought Mr. Obama's name was actually Brock
for like the first three months of his term? She did.
Oh college, I miss you.
And if you put their faces together,
It kind of looks like how I imagine Holly from Dance Mom's dad would look.
But seriously now, all jokes aside-
I like Mitt because he's a business man and he seems intelligent as hell.
He knows how to make money.
I think our country needs different things at different times.
And right now we need someone in the White House who can turn our economy around.
Why is he being chastised for being wealthy? He's worked hard as hell to get where he is.
I don't understand why people think this is a bad thing?
and he has really nice suits.
I like Obama because... I like Obama because...
I think Obama would be a really great president in 10, maybe 15 more years.
Based on what I've heard other people argue about, I think he jumped into this a little too early and just doesn't quite have the experience necessary at this time.
and he has a cute smile.
PS- Monica Lewinsky is writing a tell-all book about her affair with Clinton.
I can't wait to read this!
But first I just have to get a time machine that will take me back to the 90's when I actually cared.
PPS- Can we all just agree that people look like such douche bags posting political rants on FB and Twitter?
We get it. You think you're smart. However, we also get that you're spending a majority of your day on Facebook getting all riled up about other rants.
Who's the smart one now, dumbass.
on 60 Minutes last Sunday, I now feel it's my social and moral obligation
as an American blogger to write a quick analysis on both candidates.
For those who are concerned, please note that what I am about to say is based on almost zero facts, much of it has nothing to do with politics,
it's mostly all hearsay, and is almost entirely my own bullshit opinion.
So take it for what it's worth. And if I offend you,
well I don't really care if I offend you so I'm not even going to address that.
And now a political post from someone who knows almost nothing about politics.
Am I ashamed regarding my lack of knowledge?
Absolutely.
Am I going to change it? Probably not.
I suppose I should start by letting you know that I am a Republican.
However, I do have many Democratic views.
Free pot for all! Jk. But seriously.
Like 94% of voters in this country, my political position was given to me at birth.
And if Lady Gaga says it's okay, well then why would I change? I was born this way.
Did I mention I like to make up stats? That might be good to know going forward.
Obama vs Romney
They're both rocking the Cruella Deville 'do.
Black or grey, gentlemen? Let's make a choice and stick with it.
(And Romney- you can afford to buy factories. Now go buy some Crest White strips stat.)
If you put their last names together it sounds like some sort of 60s sock hop.
"Hey June, are you going to the Obama-Romney sock hop on Friday?"
"Well yes, Cleav. I can't wait to do the Obama-Romney, it's the bees knees!"
And if you put their first names together, it sounds like some sort white collar high crime from Law and Under..
"He's being charged with Barackmitt. On two accounts!"
{gasp}
I also thought their first names sounded like Jock-Itch.
But this is when I thought Mitt's name was Mitch.. (BarackMitch.)
Did I ever tell you how my college roomy thought Mr. Obama's name was actually Brock
for like the first three months of his term? She did.
Oh college, I miss you.
And if you put their faces together,
But seriously now, all jokes aside-
I like Mitt because he's a business man and he seems intelligent as hell.
I think our country needs different things at different times.
And right now we need someone in the White House who can turn our economy around.
Why is he being chastised for being wealthy? He's worked hard as hell to get where he is.
I don't understand why people think this is a bad thing?
and he has really nice suits.
I like Obama because... I like Obama because...
I think Obama would be a really great president in 10, maybe 15 more years.
Based on what I've heard other people argue about, I think he jumped into this a little too early and just doesn't quite have the experience necessary at this time.
and he has a cute smile.
PS- Monica Lewinsky is writing a tell-all book about her affair with Clinton.
I can't wait to read this!
But first I just have to get a time machine that will take me back to the 90's when I actually cared.
PPS- Can we all just agree that people look like such douche bags posting political rants on FB and Twitter?
We get it. You think you're smart. However, we also get that you're spending a majority of your day on Facebook getting all riled up about other rants.
Who's the smart one now, dumbass.
