I feel like I've been watching more Olympic coverage this year
than ever before.
And then I remembered the last time the Olympics were on was in 2008,
which was the summer I moved into 7240 Dorchester with my three best college pals.
So we had a lot better things to do than watch the Olympics.
(Like drink)
this was also one of those "bang" phases of mine like I've mentioned...
But I digress.
For the three odd years in between the Olympics, I don't watch sports.
I'll watch football, but by "watch" I mean play on my phone and pretend to pay attention for Chris's sake.
And I'll watch basketball during March Madness, but by "watch" I mean play on my phone and pretend to pay attention for Chris's sake.
So why am I so intrigued with the Olympics, I wondered? And then it hit me.
It's because the moment my attention starts to fade, a new sports comes on.
It's great. And also a little confusing if you're not really focusing.
Yesterday I was watching water polo, took my eyes off the screen for a second,
and then when I looked up the same girl I thought was the goalie was now in a kayak
rowing down rapids.
And I thought, holy hell water polo is way more intense than I thought.
Luckily, I got everything figured out by the time the screen switched it up again to ping pong.
But here's some things I've picked up over the past few days:
Leotards tend to have the reverse effect.
They make men look girly
(the flowers they are holding don't exactly help either)
And they make females look a bit manly...
That elastic is pulled just a little too tight down by their lady bits.
A little more fabric wouldn't hurt anyone,
that "V" should be more like a "U" to make everyone a little more at ease.
If you put him in a beret,
Lebron James looks like the creepiest Man-Girl Scout I've ever seen/
long lost member of the Troop Beverly Hills.
Finally!
After years of me writing to the Olympic committee they finally took my requests
seriously and let Whoville have some representation.
You go Beth TweddleWho, make Whoville forget Cindy Lou Who even existed!
Chlorine does a body good.
You don't actually have to compete in the Olympics for people to think you're an athlete,
just get a tattoo and you're golden.
Gabby Douglas is the new Dominique Moceanu.
Can a 25 year old have a hero that is only 16?
Because I do.
I want to be just like her when I grow up.
Keep watching, America, I think we're only just getting started.
Plus we've all got to keep an eye on that Chinese female swimmer who is beating the men.
That's got robot or vampire written all over it.
Someone needs to make her sit in the bright sun for a few hours just to be certain,
if she's a robot her battery will eventually go into 'Too Hot" mode and she won't be able to move.
Or is that just an iPhone thing?
If she's a vampire, she'll just die.
We'll get to the truth sooner or later.
USA! USA! USA!
than ever before.
And then I remembered the last time the Olympics were on was in 2008,
which was the summer I moved into 7240 Dorchester with my three best college pals.
So we had a lot better things to do than watch the Olympics.
(Like drink)
this was also one of those "bang" phases of mine like I've mentioned...
Tye. Kate. Steph. Tay. P2B 2008.
For the three odd years in between the Olympics, I don't watch sports.
I'll watch football, but by "watch" I mean play on my phone and pretend to pay attention for Chris's sake.
And I'll watch basketball during March Madness, but by "watch" I mean play on my phone and pretend to pay attention for Chris's sake.
So why am I so intrigued with the Olympics, I wondered? And then it hit me.
It's because the moment my attention starts to fade, a new sports comes on.
It's great. And also a little confusing if you're not really focusing.
Yesterday I was watching water polo, took my eyes off the screen for a second,
and then when I looked up the same girl I thought was the goalie was now in a kayak
rowing down rapids.
And I thought, holy hell water polo is way more intense than I thought.
Luckily, I got everything figured out by the time the screen switched it up again to ping pong.
But here's some things I've picked up over the past few days:
Leotards tend to have the reverse effect.
They make men look girly
(the flowers they are holding don't exactly help either)
And they make females look a bit manly...
That elastic is pulled just a little too tight down by their lady bits.
A little more fabric wouldn't hurt anyone,
that "V" should be more like a "U" to make everyone a little more at ease.
If you put him in a beret,
Lebron James looks like the creepiest Man-Girl Scout I've ever seen/
long lost member of the Troop Beverly Hills.
Finally!
After years of me writing to the Olympic committee they finally took my requests
seriously and let Whoville have some representation.
You go Beth TweddleWho, make Whoville forget Cindy Lou Who even existed!
Chlorine does a body good.
You don't actually have to compete in the Olympics for people to think you're an athlete,
just get a tattoo and you're golden.
Gabby Douglas is the new Dominique Moceanu.
Can a 25 year old have a hero that is only 16?
Because I do.
I want to be just like her when I grow up.
Keep watching, America, I think we're only just getting started.
Plus we've all got to keep an eye on that Chinese female swimmer who is beating the men.
That's got robot or vampire written all over it.
Someone needs to make her sit in the bright sun for a few hours just to be certain,
if she's a robot her battery will eventually go into 'Too Hot" mode and she won't be able to move.
Or is that just an iPhone thing?
If she's a vampire, she'll just die.
We'll get to the truth sooner or later.
USA! USA! USA!
