So something kind of weird happened today.
I may or may not have gotten my second invite to Hogwarts.
The first happened two years in Topeka in which I had a bizarre encounter with a fox.
And today it was with a squirrel.
I don't even want to tell it because you're going to think I'm lying.
But that's never stopped me before.
Let me preface by saying Harlow goes bat shit crazy over squirrels.
And that's still an understatement.
If I was just half as excited about anything as Harlow is about squirrels,
I would probably be running the world by now.
Or I would have been hit by a car years ago.
Either/Or.
Anyway,
Harlow spotted a squirrel on a fence and took off for it,
pulling me behind like an idiot.
And just for the record, the line
"who's pulling who?" every stranger likes to say to me while I'm walking Harlow,
isn't actually that funny anymore.
I know, disappointing! It was sad to me as well when I realized this.
But the squirrel quickly jumped from the fence to a tree,
and then this is when shit got weird.
Rather than running up the tree out of sight like every other bushy tailed rat,
he just stayed put and stared at us. Daring us to do something.
And then this is about the time Harlow broke his harness because
he was having such a heart attack.
So I had no other choice but to carry him.
And then I'll be damned if that squirrel didn't start following us.
He was five steps behind our every move.
He followed us for three blocks.
To paint you a picture just imagine
a sweaty blonde girl in flips flops and a tank top,
carrying a 60 lb dog that appeared as if it was having a seizure,
with a squirrel dressed in a top hat (he might as well have been)
and a cane following close behind.
Enough was enough, I finally turned around and said,
"what squirrel? what do you want?"
so it walked up to us, hopped on a fence to get eye level,
and then it hit its tiny squirrel chest with its tiny squirrel hand.
I know you think I'm lying.
Which I often am when I tell stories about getting invited to Hogwarts,
but I swear to God this one is true.
It was the weirdest shit ever.
It caught Harlow and I so off guard we just stared.
But then like a coward I started to run away because I seriously
thought the squirrel either had rabies or was possessed.
And I was not in the mood to deal with either.
Regardless it was pretty embarrassing when I turned the corner
and almost ran right into a family of four walking inside their beautiful little brownstone
and I shouted
"there's a squirrel that's following us! He's FOLLOWING us!"
The mother then hurried her small children inside...
Now who's bat shit crazy?
TGIT. I think I'm losing it.
If you'd like to check out a less bizarre rant of mine-
hop on over to this great style blog coming to you all the way from
London- now isn't that fancy?!
Jennie's Daily Dose
and then mosey on over to this blog as well!
Bartlebees Bumblings
I may or may not have gotten my second invite to Hogwarts.
The first happened two years in Topeka in which I had a bizarre encounter with a fox.
And today it was with a squirrel.
I don't even want to tell it because you're going to think I'm lying.
But that's never stopped me before.
Let me preface by saying Harlow goes bat shit crazy over squirrels.
And that's still an understatement.
If I was just half as excited about anything as Harlow is about squirrels,
I would probably be running the world by now.
Or I would have been hit by a car years ago.
Either/Or.
Anyway,
Harlow spotted a squirrel on a fence and took off for it,
pulling me behind like an idiot.
And just for the record, the line
"who's pulling who?" every stranger likes to say to me while I'm walking Harlow,
isn't actually that funny anymore.
I know, disappointing! It was sad to me as well when I realized this.
But the squirrel quickly jumped from the fence to a tree,
and then this is when shit got weird.
Rather than running up the tree out of sight like every other bushy tailed rat,
he just stayed put and stared at us. Daring us to do something.
And then this is about the time Harlow broke his harness because
he was having such a heart attack.
So I had no other choice but to carry him.
And then I'll be damned if that squirrel didn't start following us.
He was five steps behind our every move.
He followed us for three blocks.
To paint you a picture just imagine
a sweaty blonde girl in flips flops and a tank top,
carrying a 60 lb dog that appeared as if it was having a seizure,
with a squirrel dressed in a top hat (he might as well have been)
and a cane following close behind.
Enough was enough, I finally turned around and said,
"what squirrel? what do you want?"
so it walked up to us, hopped on a fence to get eye level,
and then it hit its tiny squirrel chest with its tiny squirrel hand.
I know you think I'm lying.
Which I often am when I tell stories about getting invited to Hogwarts,
but I swear to God this one is true.
It was the weirdest shit ever.
It caught Harlow and I so off guard we just stared.
But then like a coward I started to run away because I seriously
thought the squirrel either had rabies or was possessed.
And I was not in the mood to deal with either.
Regardless it was pretty embarrassing when I turned the corner
and almost ran right into a family of four walking inside their beautiful little brownstone
and I shouted
"there's a squirrel that's following us! He's FOLLOWING us!"
The mother then hurried her small children inside...
Now who's bat shit crazy?
TGIT. I think I'm losing it.
If you'd like to check out a less bizarre rant of mine-
hop on over to this great style blog coming to you all the way from
London- now isn't that fancy?!
Jennie's Daily Dose
and then mosey on over to this blog as well!
Bartlebees Bumblings
