I'm just a little bit tired right now.
"Training" for a new job tends to take it out of me.
I don't know what my problem is,
but when it comes time to learn new things
(that aren't celebrity related)
I tune out.
Like, hard core tune out.
I can watch someone talk and talk and talk
and when they're finished I usually have no idea what they just said.
Even right now just thinking about all of the shit that was crammed
into my brain today, I just want to have a drink.
It doesn't help that I have the attention span of a five year old.
And the patience of a toddler.
Just to give you a visual this is basically me from today.
I sat, pretended to listen, and all with a
"I'm faking the shit out of this"
smile on my face.
By the end of my training I was literally pacing back and forth
in the room like a caged lion.
And I had only been there for four hours.
But four hours is a veryyyy long time.
Especially when it's sunny and beautiful and all I want to do is sit at a beer garden.
When I got home I just wanted to sit on my couch
and watch me some Dance Moms.
I'm dying to find out how Miss Abby excused herself regarding her little
"fit" at the end of last season.
But no time for rest, I had to get started on job #2.
I'm also a waitress at a bowling alley.
I'm kidding. I hate bowling. And I hate serving people.
Especially when dirty napkins are involved. And big, heavy balls...errr...
Job #2 involves pimping out my ironic children's book-
A Bottle For You. A Bottle For Me.
I got six boxes of this beaut delivered to me last Friday.
So now it's just time to sit back and wait for the Today Show to call.
-is what I thought 12 months ago when I started this.
I still think know they're gonna call.
It's just gonna take some time... and a lot of work.
Speaking of timing, I just read today that Chicago is hosting it's annual
"Printers Row Lit Fest: where independent authors gather to show their work"
on this Saturday!
How's that for a little bit of fate?
I have six boxes of books in my house and I just learned that
over 500 authors, book sellers, book publishers, and literary agents are going
to be gathered less than two miles from me!
But I missed the deadline (obviously) since I just found out about this today.
Deadline schmeadline.
This has ever stopped me before.
I've been pedaling and pushing my merchandise since I could talk.
True story: Denver 1996- my cousin and I set up a Beanie Baby stand
outside of the Denver Art Fair and made about $800 a piece (but seriously)
selling beanies. That was a good day.
And I think I'm going to make Saturday a good day.
Or at least I'm sure as hell gonna try.
Time to get my bottle on.
Click above on "My First (ironic) Childrens Book"
and get your bottle on.
Please. I really appreciate it. Thanks.
PS- I'm such an ass I forgot to say I was guest blogging
on an amazing blog yesterday 30 Before 30 List - must check out!
and today I'm at It's a Powell Life
you should probably check out both asap.
