On May 1st, 2011
God took the life of Osama Bin Laden.
On May 1st, 2012
God granted the life of Jessica Simpson's baby-
or as I like to call it the Curious Case of Maxwell Drewbuttons.
Coincidence? I don't know...
Am I suggesting Jessica Simpson gave birth to a reincarnation of Bin Laden?
Not necessarily. But she was pregnant long enough for the exact amount of time it takes to create a terrorist- 37 months.
So it is a little fishy.
The even fishier part is why she named her baby after a coffeehouse.
Perhaps Folgers was taken.
As well as tampon.
I'm not judging though.
Picking a baby name is hard enough because everyone seems to have their own opinions on it.
No matter what you choose someone is always going to either say,
"Oh, I really like that!"
or
"Oh, I really like that" (to your face, followed by)-
"I mean it wouldn't be my first choice, but she's always had different taste so it doesn't really surprise me..."
Regardless,
May 1st is making waves. It's like the hottest new date around.
It used to just be popular for decorating red Solo cups full of popcorn
but now it kills terrorists
and gives birth to celebrity babies.
Talk about a trifecta.
Anyway,
I wish Jessica Simpson's baby all the best.
May she never grow up and realize who her dad could have been.
And may she never hate her mom for giving her such a masculine name.
But seriously, if Jess wanted to give her daughter
a strong empowering name why didn't she just go with Katniss or something.
I don't want to be the one to say it, but I won't be surprised if we've got another Shiloh Pitt on our hands.
I have a feeling Chaz Bono is sending over a pretty big baby present right now as we speak.
But I love it.
The more diversity in the world the better.
Happy May Day all-
I can barely wait to see what next year will bring...
