Here’s my take on hot Vinyasa yoga though. It was hot, a fan or two would have helped a lot. And we were packed in that studio like sardines. In fact, it reminded me a lot of the L train now that I think about it. Nobody talked to each other, it had a weird smell, there were a few foreigners, and the last ones in got the worst seat. Everybody was sweating a little too much for my comfort and don’t even get me started on the community breathing. I held my breath throughout the entire workout, but every other person in the studio was breathing as if they were doing something a little too personal to be in a public space.
 |
| I've never seen my dog do this pose. |
But I’m going to go back again. I think I could use a little calm and relaxation in my life. Ever since I was five years old, dance teachers and sport coaches alike have been telling me to RELAX. Relax your shoulders, loosen your grip, don’t be so tense, release the tension. Blah blah blah. It’s not like I’m stressed all of the time, I just prefer to do be doing 1000 things at once usually.
 |
| When does a camel do this? And is this a man or a woman or a triangle? |
So when it was time to lay down on the mat and clear our heads all I could think about was if the person next to me had their eyes open? Were they staring at my butt? Were my pants as shear as the person in front of me? Did my ass look as round? Why was everyone in this class chubby? Does yoga really work? Is it safe to have this many people in a hot sweat infused space? Didn’t people die in a sweat tent a few years ago? Is that a pube on the ground next to me? Gross. Who is this Lulu woman and why does everyone buy her shit? Should I buy her shit? And then the instructor walked by and told me RELAX and close my eyes.
 |
| Namaste. |
Yoga is weird. But I'm really going to try to become a Yogi. It's so hot right now.
.gif "REALLY!?!")
