Should I write “be mine” on my business card?
I’m Italian and WOP doesn’t bother me any.
Isn’t anybody going to say anything about my ruffly shirt today?
When I met Kyle Korver he touched my butt.
I think I took a diet pill on accident.
I really doubt I won’t have a Valentine, I have at least 15 gentlemen callers right now.
We don’t want to watch your kids meet f**king Cinderella.
What comes first in Bieber, the i or the e?
The other things aren’t that funny because I didn’t say them. (on my other blog posts)
I just can’t believe I’m such a good friend.
Do bowling shoes come in wedge?
I just have really sweaty hands is all.
Do you want to take a picture of me?
And that’s why poor people don’t have teeth.
Do not bring that Cinnamon roll into work. You will open up a can of worms.
Three things I hate: ponytails, scarves, and blazers.
So… Should I poke him on Facebook?
Ugh! It still tastes like lipstick! (on water from the water cooler)
It’s a sad day when you get to the bottom of your $13 peanut butter.
But why does New England have a football team? They’re not even a state.
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