Excuse me, I’m still drunk and can’t talk yet.
Shit, it’s been a long morning. (8:08 a.m.)
I should become a radio Dj.
Do you think I should wear my high heels in case I see some hotties?
Why the f*&k is she sipping on chamomile anyway? (referring to Gwen Stefani.)
Purple nail best friends!
I just really love my silk sheets.
Yes!!! I’m only 16 connections away from 500 on Linkedin.
I just really don’t like the age 23. 20 was definitely my best year.
You guys, feel my butt. Feel it.
The 90s make me all warm and fuzzy. Like they give me the fuzzies.
I take a bath everyday. Twice a day, sometimes three even.
How fun is it going to be during the 4th of July when we can use our red and blue pens all month?
I’m going to use my whole bottle of white out on these cancelled dinners. (so her planner doesn’t look ugly.)
You guys, Miley Cyrus’s boyfriend is so sexy.
I seriously can’t stop thinking about Miley and Liam. Is that pathetic?
