Shit Post-College Grads Say

I think I might go back to grad school. 

Did vodka get stronger? 

Happy hour tonight? 

I'm only going to drink one bottle of wine.

 Did you know it's dead week right now?

I'm just too tired to do anything.

Can we drink at lunch? 

Did you know college kids right now were born in the 90s. 

Remember syllabus week?

Might just spend my weekend on the couch.

 Finals start tomorrow I heard.

 Where are we meeting for happy hour?

 Do you think the younger generation even knows of us?

We definitely partied harder.

I think I might be the oldest person at the Bar. 

Is it football season yet?

 I don't even care that I'm not engaged.

 When should we go to Vegas so we actually have something to look forward to in life?

 The paleo diet will change your life. 

Did you see she had another kid? 

Do you think they look at our Facebook pages ever? 

Casual Friday!

 I'm going to drink until I'm ready to go home at 10.

I don't even really miss college. 

Crossfit is where it's at. 

Why is it not 5:00 yet? 

Are we too old to blackout? 

Did you notice I've lost weight?

 My health insurance doesn't start until February.

 I just love airport drinks.

 Sooooo jealous of everyone tailgating right now. 

Remember West O?

 I miss blacking out. 

Is this V neck too deep?

 Am I too old to sleep in a frat basement?

 I wish I was turning 21 again. 

Is match.com gay?

 I actually have really great benefits.

 Penis novelties everywhere, Bachelorette weekend!

 Penis novelties everywhere, Bachelor weekend!

 Do I need to wear my galoshes today?

 My hangovers are just really bad now.

 Sushi dinner?

 I'm not depressed.

 Even the freshman have graduated.

 We were so much cooler.

 I wouldn't even be mad if I was pregnant.

 I would still totally push her down the stairs if she was pregnant.

 At least we get to wear jeans tomorrow.

 Do you get a pretty good 401k? 

I just have Seasonal Affective Disorder is all. 

Omg I didn't get carded. But I still look only 21, right? 

Seriously, how old do I look?

 The water cooler needs to be refilled. 

Happy hour killed me, I was out until 11:30.

I can't wait until 2039 when my loans are completely paid off. 

Did you hear about that new dance move?

 Is their honeymoon album up yet?

 I actually really like my job.

 Is there a run in my tights?

 I feel bad for college grads just starting out. 

I'm just checking out my options. 

Grad school is only for two years. 

It just makes the most sense. 

I think I'm going to start a blog.