Rolling down the street...

I said I'd do it, so here it goes, a brief rundown of my thoughts on Twilight. Don't gag, I'll make it quick. That's what she said. Lol, Michael Scott where have you gone. Anyway, back to Twilight. If you haven't seen it, don't. Probably not worth your time, nor will the next few paragraphs of this blog be.

I'm gonna open up with some questions. How is it that nobody in Forks knows about these Werewolves or Vampires yet Bella moves there and within no time discovers this huge secret? Isn't that just a little much? Furthermore, are there really no good looking girls in this town so the two "hotties" Edward and Jacob have to actually fight over Debbie Downer Bella aka Kristen Stewart? Known for constantly running her hands through her greasy black hair and saying lines like, "that's like really kinda perfect, actually." And speaking of hotties, Taylor Lautner? Cute? I suppose, if you're into that Abercrombie gorgeous model look, which hello I am, I date Chris, don't I? The other guy, Robert Pattinson, before watching the movie I seriously thought it was a joke that girls found him attractive. He's no Justin Bieber. But after watching the movie I kind of get it, not that I think he's attractive now, but I will say his role is meant to be this hero type guy who when he walks onto screen music plays and a looks like they put actually put a fan machine on him. Ew. No wonder freaky high school kids and bored house moms dig this shit. My next question is about the Werewolves. What happens to their cargo shorts when they magically transform from Native Americans into animals? Do the shorts disappear back onto the shelves at Old Navy I wonder? And how does the Native American community feel about everything? Because we already know their thoughts on mascots, are they pissed about Twilight too? And if a Vampire and a Werewolf get together is their baby a Vampwolf, or a Werewire, because you know that's going to happen sooner or later.I also still don't understand how Vampires are dead, but yet they can still be killed? What's going on there? They can't be shot or stabbed, but if you squeeze their head real hard they just shatter? I'm not buying it. Furthermore, who decided that Vampires have crazy super speed all of the sudden? This wasn't going on during Buffy's days. She could catch and kill the Vamps with a piece of wood, a clove of garlic, and a cute smile. That's more than Bella can say.

I think have too many questions to really get into this film. I should probably call my friend I met in New York, Chris Weitz, you know the director of Twilight and figure it all out. Nbd.

Speaking of how cool I am, Chris and I will be attending the Snoop Dogg show at House of Blues tonight. Chris Hillis not Weitz I should clarify. Yup, the original D-O double G. It's not my first time seeing Snoop, but I'm still excited, and House of Blues is always a good venue. I say that as if I've been to a show there which I technically haven't. But I have been waiting to wear my new Bulls jersey dress for quite some and I think this will be the perfect occasion finally! Just me and my boo, out for a night of fun, gon' be real tight sipping on Hypnotic, toking on the chronic. I'm kidding, I'm not alluding to drug use by any means. And of course we're not going to drink Hypnotic, probably just gin and juice. Laid back, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Just another Friday night in Chi Town.