24 Year Old Teen Mom

Well I'm done playing mommy. Much to my dismay, Jade picked up Knox yesterday to bring him back home. I was sad to see him go, we had such a good time together. It was just so fun to have someone with me at all times of the day. ALL times. From the moment I got up (like for the day, not the numerous times in the night) until the moment I went to bed, Knox was with me. It's cute how social he is, he demands company pretty much all the time. But just your company isn't enough, he likes to be bounced on your leg, or pat on the back, or tossed in the air, or fed, or changed, or fed, or changed, and all for no more than five minutes at a time because then he gets bored. I wonder if babies can take Adderall? I don't want to start throwing out diagnosis's, but I think Knox might have ADD. And since I've opened the floodgates, I might was well just put it out there, I think Knox has a few other disorders, as well- he's probably Bipolar, he's definitely Bulimic, he suffers from IBS FOR SURE, and I don't think he understands English. His ADD became evident when I noticed he just couldn't seem to focus on any one thing, especially when I would try to feed him and he would rather grab the keys or the marker or the flip flop that was sitting next to his Bumbo. Oh you don't know what a Bumbo is? It's a baby term, get with it. I noticed Knox's Bipolar disorder when one second he was giggling and smiling and the next he was red faced and screaming. What's going on with that? How could something have gone so terribly wrong in .2 seconds that would cause such a tantrum? It just doesn't seem normal. As for his bulimia, well this is a real problem. I don't know how the kid gains any weight at all for as much as he throws up. I would be holding him and all of the sudden a warm liquid would rush out of his mouth and all over me. And without being too vulgar, his IBS is definitely cause of concern. Each diaper held a new surprise. Would I find a melted Milk Dud inside or a hot mess of Hamburger Helper? And how on earth did it travel from his bottom to his back? It's almost as if his digestion system works like a fountain rather than a hose... Think about it.

I would pray for the moments Knox would fall asleep. I would have an entire list of things I was ready to get done in my forty minutes of free time. But usually, I was so tired from watching over the little manic monster that I would end up just spending my forty minutes of freedom on the couch. It's really a terrible cycle. Being a young mom isn't nearly as glamorous as it looks on Teen Mom. I can totally see why Amber freaks out all the time and beats up Gary, it's because she's tired. And Maci takes baths in bronzer because she feels ugly from never having time to get ready, makes complete sense. No wonder Catelynn and Tyler are the most normal, it's because they don't have Carly to care for all the time. And Farrah's a bitch because she's the spawn of Satan, no other reason can explain why she's so heinous to her poor mom from Who-ville. I don't know though, I'm starting to think being on an MTV show isn't worth having a baby for like all of the 16 year olds are doing these days. It's kind of a lot of work.

This will be my last weekend before I jump head first into the working world. I'm not happy about it but it's just the way things have to be right now. So I'm going to suck it up and embrace it. From here on out it's all work and just a little play, so to finish my final free days I am celebrating by doing exactly what I want to do, not doing what I think I should do which is lay out, play outside, go to the beach, walk around shops. No, I'm spending it laying on the couch watching hours of dumb reality shows and watching the Twilight movies. I've never read the books and I judge those who do. But I accidentally watched the first and thought it was awful, so of course I am going to finish with the other two. I plan to write a full review when I'm done because I've already got an entire list of questions. Like the Olsen twins famously said, Too Little Time for all I have to do!