Thank God It's Facebook Friday!

Oh how I love Fridays. I especially love Fridays when I get to arrive at a high school the exact time that every other teenager does. Parking lots are the best, it’s so cute how parents just think they can stop wherever they please to make sure little Johnny gets inside okay and that silly Susie didn’t forget her lunch. But what’s that? Oh shoot, Susie did forget her lunch, so now mom and Suz are gonna conversate over it for a little while longer it seems. Nevermind the line of traffic behind their Subaru that has the adorable stick-ons on the back window that shows the family as stick figurines doing different activities- Mom the cook, Johnny the football player, Suz the cheerleader, and Dad the adulter. The problem must be solved now, as the license plate says she is one “BZEMOM.” What with all of her cooking and buying car décor. Nothing screams busy mom more than a personalized license plate.

Beyond that, school hallways in the morning are fun, as well. Kids just love to gather and stand in herds in the middle of a very small hallway and just hang out and like oh my god, like talk about like, what she said last night, and like how messed up it was, and like gross. So do I take pleasure in barreling through their herds with my cooler and suitcase rolling over their little toesys and bumping them over to side? Perhaps. Yeah, I guess you could say I kinda like it. One might even call it my morning game. Cooler Wars. I try to see how many kids I can mow over, or knock to the side. They get all pissed but by the time they turn around I’m gone. If I’m still within earshot I’ll scream “sorry, my bad!” over my back, which is always followed by a much different response under my breath. I can’t help it though, mornings are tough for me.

But today is Friday. And that’s all that matters. TGIFF. Thank God It’s Facebook Friday. On Fridays my mini is always ten times more busy than usual, which is good because I need to do something during my odd breaks in between classes. Yup the Book buzzes today. I predict statuses will be about basketball games, duh, spring break being over, obvs, and… the weather. “What Snow?! Only in Nebraska!” No, actually it’s in Missouri, Kansas, Minnesota, and Illinois to name a few. It’s really not just Nebraska. “What the hell Duke? I could do better.” I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say you probably couldn’t, I’m gonna go even further out and bet you probably didn’t even play in highschool, middle school is when you were put on the B team and your parents decided from there it wasn’t going to work. “Went from Vegas to this? Can I please go back?” No, you can’t. In fact you probably won’t be back in Vegas for a very long time. Shit gets real after college. Sorry. Whoaaa there, I’m sounding like Negative Nancy I just realized. I’m really not in that foul of a mood, I’m only kidding. I should take another go at this.

“What Snow?! Only in Nebraska!” You’re right! Nebraska is hands down the craziest state for weather! Hurricanes, earthquakes, monsoons, shhha right! Snow in March takes the cake.

“What the hell Duke? I could do better!” You could! Why oh why aren’t you there? Damn that prior obligation you had of Frolf at 4:00 p.m.

“Went from Vegas to this? Can I please go back?” Yes, you can.... I really don’t have anything else for this one. It is what it is.

Again, I’m not shy about the fact I’m entertained by status updates. I make fun because I am no better. At least ten times a day I have to stop myself from wanting to update a quick tid bit for the Fb world to see and hopefully (fingers crossed) comment on. But to be truthful, I don’t feel that the playing field is all that equal. For starters, just because of the fact that I don’t have kid I’m missing out on a lot of good updates. Sure I borrow Knox from time to time, but it’s not the same, I only see him at his best. Sick baby updates are a sure bet, toss in a pic of the sick baby and that’s gonna double the comments. All I’m saying is that sometimes I don’t think it’s fair that I don’t have a kid to expose on Facebook for my benefit. Even just a sonogram does the trick I’ve noticed. I love sonograms, what’s more beautiful than looking at someones insides? Profile pic worthy fo sho. The beauty of your first child is truly captured in that first grainy pic that always seems to look like the mom is pregnant with either a string of Oscar Meyer weiners or a really big cocktail olive resting under a sunset. But I digress.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, happy Friday. Why is it that it always takes the longest to get to this day. If the anticipation wasn’t so much I don’t think I would feel the need to always drink so much today. Enjoy the basketball games, enjoy the weather, and don’t think about the fact that Rebecca Black is now a 13 year old millionaire thanks to her insightful song “Friday” and the millions of hits it gets everyday just for being recognized as the “worst song ever.” God love our country, where the rich get richer, and the stupid get richer right alongside them.