Chpt 2 Regarding Relationships and "Sexy Men"

But is it Facebook official?


A relationship just isn’t legit until it’s published on Facebook. In today’s social networking world we need to see the notification “went from being to single to in a relationship,” followed by a heart symbol in order to fully recognize a relationship as real. Same rule applies for engagements, marriages, and worst of all, broken relationships. If it hasn’t happened on Facebook, nothing is for sure.

An engagement on Facebook has almost become better than a birthday on Facebook. Unlike the old days when only close friends and family were informed about new engagements, thanks to technology, the cousin of your middle school math teacher is now able to write “congrats” on your wall minutes after your fiancé pops the question. And the cousin can even see your ring if you uploaded a picture via phone, as well. And so within hours of saying “yes,” one can already have hundreds of congratulatory posts from Facebook friends proclaiming how happy they are for a couple most have never met.

And so every great relationship begins with six simple words, “should we put it on facebook?” This is basically the same as asking are we ready to tell the world? Because once a relationship is signified on Facebook, that very thing happens. In 2007 when I began dating my boyfriend, Chris, this was one of the first things I said to him after he “officially,” asked me to be his girlfriend,

“I don’t want to do the whole Facebook girlfriend thing just yet,” I said to him immediately after I told him I wanted to be his real life girlfriend.

Guys aren’t quite as in tuned with the social rules of Facebook so I could see I had confused him. But my reason for not initially putting this new relationship on Facebook was anything but scandalous. It was actually an attempt to save myself the humiliation of having the post “is now single,” on my wall a mere week or two after having put “is now in a relationship,” if he were to suddenly decide I wasn’t as cool as a girlfriend as I portrayed. Obviously, this never happened because three years later we’re still together. But admit it; it’s a nagging thought that goes through all of our minds in the beginning.

This whole Facebook relationship process is a bit different for Facebook Girl. Facebook Girl goes in and out of relationships shamelessly. It’s almost comparable to middle school dating. One day her status is “in a relationship,” and less than forty eight hours later she is listed as “now single,” according to a mini feed anyway. And then within hours there is a good chance she is “in a relationship” once again. The time frame varies of course, depending largely on whether the debacle is occurring on a week night or a weekend, I might add. Other situation altering factors would include alcohol consumption (duh,) statuses of other females who might be involved in the particular situation- good or bad, but when we’re talking about Facebook Girls it’s pretty much always something regarding “get yo own man,” or “loves when other girls talk smack bc they jeal,” and also new photo albums uploaded entitled "Bootyshaking/Shot Taking Nights DT." So what does this all mean for Facebook Girl? A helluva a lot of newsfeed coverage for the Facebook world to view.

But back to relationships in general. A Facebook Girl has much advice (complaints) regarding this subject.

FbGirl: "Tha best way to get over someone is to get under their bestfriend(s.)"

Refreshing words to live by.

FbGirl: "Why are all boys playas? Well gurls can be plays to. Hellls to the ya."

More inspring words from a Fb girl.

FbGirl: "Who wants a bf when bein single is sooooo fun with my girls? GIRLS NIGHT LOVE MY FRANDSSS!"

You go girl.

FbGirl: "Sumtimes I just wonder why no guys treat me the way I should..."

Perhaps it's because you're a "playa," who loves "girls night with frands." Perhaps.