Chris and I had no intention of dressing up in costume last night. None whatsoever. But somehow one thing led to another and I ended up with devil ears and a tail on, and he was dressed in a suit as a pilot.
And it all started with a crimper and two trick or treaters who sneak attacked me in my own house.
Originally, I was just going to put Harlow in costume and walk him around the neighborhood to look at all the cute rich people who sit on the stoops of their lovely brownstones drinking wine and handing out candy to all of the rich children.
But I was sitting at my table, which is right next to my front window, finishing up some work when all of the sudden I saw two little goblins trot up to my door. My first instinct was to hide. I literally jumped to the ground and grabbed the light-up pumpkin that was sitting my window in the process. I don't know why I felt the need to grab the pumpkin, but I did. From what I've learned over the years, kids in Chicago usually only trick or treat to houses they know, or to the stoops of the friendly drunk people who are already sitting outside. Because I don't know any kids, I've never had trick or treaters so I stopped buying candy to hand out.
But I'll be damned if these two little goblins weren't just a couple of brave little SOBs because sure enough, they saw a light on in my house and they saw an opportunity. They actually reminded me a little of myself at that age so I knew I couldn't just hide like a coward under the table, I owed them something. The only thing I could find in my house suitable to hand out was A. a miniature pack of oyster crackers. B. two mustard packets from Jimmy Johns or C. two candy bars from two (perhaps three) years ago. What do you think I did? I gave them all of it obviously.
But then I felt inspired to go buy actual Halloween candy just in case any more kiddos came by. So Harlow and I strapped our jockeys on our back and walked to Walgreens.
And while at Walgreens I happened to see some devil ears that caught my eye.... And then when I came home I just happened to see my crimper and thought what the hell, if not tonight then when? I should have known better, once my hair is crimped there's no turning back. Things are bound to get weird, and that they did.
For a night we didn't plan to go out, we sure did just the opposite. So that's my story. And today marks November 1st. Holiday season is here my friends. Fa la la la la. Have a wonderful weekend. Time to bring out the Christmas tunes.
And PS my hair is still crimped and I have no intention of changing this anytime soon. Nothing says "I've given up on life" more than day old crimped hair.
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