Hey again, College.
It's been awhile since we last spoke, so I just thought I'd touch base and see what's up.
I saw you sent another batch of unsuspecting young graduates into "the real world" last weekend.
Or at least I think you did, I've grown so old lately that my Facebook hardly has any undergrads left on it these days.
So did you tell them all the lies you told me, I wonder?
That they might actually find a job in a field they studied after graduating?
No, no wait, don't you like to call it a "career" actually?
Yea, that sounds a lot better. Especially during those "career fairs" you like to host.
Those fairs gave us all the chance to pretend we were adults, dressed in our cheap suits carrying around our little resumes going from one insurance booth to the next.
Those were cute.
Anyway College, I'm not going to spend much more time rambling because I know you're probably hungover given that yesterday was your first Monday of summer.
So here's just a quick list of 10 things I'm missing at the moment:
1. Sleeping in.
Just forever and ever and ever.
Don't ever let anyone tell you sleeping in isn't the best thing ever, because it is.
It so is.
2. Friends.
Friends and friends galore. Just everywhere. I literally had friends all around me.
Going out in herds of twenty was normal.
And in 1980s prom dresses.
3. Even when there "wasn't something to do,"
there was always "something to do."
Someone was always drinking, or could be talked into drinking on any given night.
5. That pre "real world" ignorance.
That feeling of just being completely oblivious to... everything.
Bills, jobs, lay-offs, responsibility, why can't you put your shoes away, vet bills,
oh shit what do I want to do with my life, money, nagging, rent, anxiety.
6. Sorority cliches.
We're not all like that crazy DG girl, then again I might not be the one to ask because I didn't go to a lot of activities...
But what I like to think about when I remember living in a house with 78 other girls are all those super cliche moments that I didn't believe truly happened.
Like when one of us would go on a date and ten of us would watch her get ready,
and then we'd all be waiting around for her to get home so we could hear how it went.
7. Study time.
I was an English major, so I basically only studied about twice a year, for roughly two hours a week.
So naturally I have fond memories of it.
I'd get my coffee, peanut butter M&Ms, and go hole up in the library and bullshit my way through a Nathaniel Hawthorne paper for the next two hours and I loved it.
It was always very relaxing for me.
8. Student loans.
Free money!!!
9. College Facebook.
Take me back to that time when Facebook was a thrill to look at rather than a chore.
Ten new friend requests in one day? You betcha!
Poking, what's that? I don't know but it's fun and not at all creepy!
and most of all, I miss the college jollies.
10. College jollies.
The back-to-school, first football game of the year, just got out of sorority rush,
night of a big formal, class just got cancelled, fall break is around the corner, that first beer after class,
this is the best night ever, Amigos after The Bar, Amigos before The Bar,
endless summer nights at rush parties,
jollies.
I miss those jollies.
Alright College, this is my last letter to you. It's time to return the keg and move on.
I need to focus on all the post-college jollies happening right now.
Like for starters the fact that all of my college buddies are coming to town next weekend for a good old fashioned bachelorette party!!!
Now happy Tuesday and happy 28th birthday Jordan!
(he's the one in the sassy sport coat with that very unsettling look in his eye.)
It's been awhile since we last spoke, so I just thought I'd touch base and see what's up.
I saw you sent another batch of unsuspecting young graduates into "the real world" last weekend.
Or at least I think you did, I've grown so old lately that my Facebook hardly has any undergrads left on it these days.
So did you tell them all the lies you told me, I wonder?
That they might actually find a job in a field they studied after graduating?
No, no wait, don't you like to call it a "career" actually?
Yea, that sounds a lot better. Especially during those "career fairs" you like to host.
Those fairs gave us all the chance to pretend we were adults, dressed in our cheap suits carrying around our little resumes going from one insurance booth to the next.
Those were cute.
Anyway College, I'm not going to spend much more time rambling because I know you're probably hungover given that yesterday was your first Monday of summer.
So here's just a quick list of 10 things I'm missing at the moment:
1. Sleeping in.
Just forever and ever and ever.
Don't ever let anyone tell you sleeping in isn't the best thing ever, because it is.
It so is.
2. Friends.
Friends and friends galore. Just everywhere. I literally had friends all around me.
Going out in herds of twenty was normal.
And in 1980s prom dresses.
3. Even when there "wasn't something to do,"
there was always "something to do."
Someone was always drinking, or could be talked into drinking on any given night.
5. That pre "real world" ignorance.
That feeling of just being completely oblivious to... everything.
Bills, jobs, lay-offs, responsibility, why can't you put your shoes away, vet bills,
oh shit what do I want to do with my life, money, nagging, rent, anxiety.
6. Sorority cliches.
We're not all like that crazy DG girl, then again I might not be the one to ask because I didn't go to a lot of activities...
But what I like to think about when I remember living in a house with 78 other girls are all those super cliche moments that I didn't believe truly happened.
Like when one of us would go on a date and ten of us would watch her get ready,
and then we'd all be waiting around for her to get home so we could hear how it went.
7. Study time.
I was an English major, so I basically only studied about twice a year, for roughly two hours a week.
So naturally I have fond memories of it.
I'd get my coffee, peanut butter M&Ms, and go hole up in the library and bullshit my way through a Nathaniel Hawthorne paper for the next two hours and I loved it.
It was always very relaxing for me.
8. Student loans.
Free money!!!
9. College Facebook.
Take me back to that time when Facebook was a thrill to look at rather than a chore.
Ten new friend requests in one day? You betcha!
Poking, what's that? I don't know but it's fun and not at all creepy!
and most of all, I miss the college jollies.
10. College jollies.
The back-to-school, first football game of the year, just got out of sorority rush,
night of a big formal, class just got cancelled, fall break is around the corner, that first beer after class,
this is the best night ever, Amigos after The Bar, Amigos before The Bar,
endless summer nights at rush parties,
jollies.
I miss those jollies.
Alright College, this is my last letter to you. It's time to return the keg and move on.
I need to focus on all the post-college jollies happening right now.
Like for starters the fact that all of my college buddies are coming to town next weekend for a good old fashioned bachelorette party!!!
Now happy Tuesday and happy 28th birthday Jordan!
(he's the one in the sassy sport coat with that very unsettling look in his eye.)
