I have been a longtime lover of the Oscars.
It's basically the only award show I watch.
And at twenty five I'd like to pretend I'm over my dream to someday attend.
But damn it, I'm not. You can judge me it's okay, I judge me.
I thought I would have shaken this goal by now, I seriously wish I could,
but it's still here looming over me like a dark get your shit together cloud.
And let me tell ya, those get your shit together clouds are the worst.
I've got my screenwriting itch again.
I haven't worked on the old Final Draft software in almost a year now
becauseI decided novel writing is the way to go I gave up.
It's just so hard... Why can't my uncle be Ben Affleck or something.
To make matters worse I watched Juno about three times yesterday.
(And then read the script about four times immediately after.)
The dialogue in that movie absolutely kills me.
The fact that was Diablo Cody's first script blows my mind.
But now I'm just babbling, I think I'm still a little bit emotional about Jennifer Lawrence's trip.
That should have been me tripping...
Anyway, there were a few lesser known awards that were given out
that I'd like to acknowledge at this point.
Best 90s Prom Dress Goes To:
Anne Hathaway!
We haven't seen this much nipple in a prom dress since Carrie.
You just can't lose, Anniehasnopanties!
Best "Dance Moms" Look Goes To:
Amanda Seyfried
Best Worst Idea of The Night:
The Mani Cam.
What in the hell was this?
The only way this idea might have been a hit was if Stick Stickly was the host.
But since that never happened, I wasn't impressed...
Best Kate Gosselin Inspired Hair Award Goes To:
Charlize Theron
Let's just consider ourselves lucky Charlize didn't grab Kate's signature
side bang boomerang, as well.
(In case you forgot what I was talking about.)
Best Zack Morris Hair Award Goes To:
Ryan Seacrest
Except Zack is way cuter. And way more open about his sexuality.
Best Drop Dead Gorgeous Moment Award Goes To:
Amy Adams
And if you haven't already seen this movie we might have to end our friendship here.
Because it's one of my all time favs.
She's been singing and dancing since she was just knee high to a pig's eye.
Go rent it now. Or download it. Or however you young kids watch movies these days.
There was also a small side award-
"Why Reality TV People Aren't Usually Allowed Into The Oscars"
given to Brandi Glanho.
Brandi, c'mon girl. C'mon. C'mon.
Respect yoself before you wreck yoself.
What did you think of the show? Did you even watch?
And on that note, let's call it good.
I'm mentally exhausted from all of the self loathing I've done tonight.
Over and out.
It's basically the only award show I watch.
And at twenty five I'd like to pretend I'm over my dream to someday attend.
But damn it, I'm not. You can judge me it's okay, I judge me.
I thought I would have shaken this goal by now, I seriously wish I could,
but it's still here looming over me like a dark get your shit together cloud.
And let me tell ya, those get your shit together clouds are the worst.
I've got my screenwriting itch again.
I haven't worked on the old Final Draft software in almost a year now
because
It's just so hard... Why can't my uncle be Ben Affleck or something.
To make matters worse I watched Juno about three times yesterday.
(And then read the script about four times immediately after.)
The dialogue in that movie absolutely kills me.
The fact that was Diablo Cody's first script blows my mind.
But now I'm just babbling, I think I'm still a little bit emotional about Jennifer Lawrence's trip.
That should have been me tripping...
Anyway, there were a few lesser known awards that were given out
that I'd like to acknowledge at this point.
Best 90s Prom Dress Goes To:
Anne Hathaway!
We haven't seen this much nipple in a prom dress since Carrie.
Best "Dance Moms" Look Goes To:
Amanda Seyfried
Best Worst Idea of The Night:
The Mani Cam.
The only way this idea might have been a hit was if Stick Stickly was the host.
But since that never happened, I wasn't impressed...
Best Kate Gosselin Inspired Hair Award Goes To:
Charlize Theron
side bang boomerang, as well.
(In case you forgot what I was talking about.)
Best Zack Morris Hair Award Goes To:
Ryan Seacrest
Best Drop Dead Gorgeous Moment Award Goes To:
Amy Adams
Because it's one of my all time favs.
She's been singing and dancing since she was just knee high to a pig's eye.
Go rent it now. Or download it. Or however you young kids watch movies these days.
There was also a small side award-
"Why Reality TV People Aren't Usually Allowed Into The Oscars"
given to Brandi Glanho.
Respect yoself before you wreck yoself.
What did you think of the show? Did you even watch?
And on that note, let's call it good.
I'm mentally exhausted from all of the self loathing I've done tonight.
Over and out.
