And it's already time for another edition of
The Daily Tay's Best Week Ever.
I'll tell you who isn't having the best day ever,
that would be me.
I think I accidentally drank one too many brews last night
because I woke up hurting.
Like the can't stand without hunching-need french fries-don't want to drink ever again-type of hurting.
But luckily I got over that by the time I joined my parents for lunch at Ditkas
and was able to choke down a Bloody Mary.
But enough about me, let's figure out who is having the best week ever.
First up is my girl Gabby Douglas.
The Gabster. The Dougmeister. G Dugs.
She was awarded ESPN's sportswoman of the year.
Although at only sixteen, she's hardly a woman.
And given her BMI I highly doubt she's even started her mensies. So just like B Spears, Gabby is not a girl, not yet a woman, either.
You know what I won when I was sixteen?
The 100 meter dash at the Pierce, Nebraska invite. Pretty sure my record still stands even.
I also won a microwave at Post Prom when I was sixteen, so that was pretty cool too.
And how bout Gab's arms? Those guns are looking good. A little too good.
Let's just say I won't be surprised if ten years down the road her medals are stripped from her...
You heard it here first.
Speaking of... Next up on my list is
Lance Armstrong
This guy is having one helluva week.
Like they always say, any press is good press. And he's been all over the news.
So I don't care what anyone says about Lancer, I still think he's great.
I mean the guy has one testicle for God's sake and invented the phrase Livestrong, how bad could he really be?
I'll keep wearing my yellow band.
(I mean I would if it was still 2002.)
Next up we've got those infamous women,
The Binder Full Of Women- women.
These women are so hot right now.
Then again "binders full of women" have always been hot.
According to pedophiles anyway. Because I really don't know anyone else who keeps binders full of women (children)...
Poor Mittens, he's always being taken out of context.
And then we've got Lamar Odom.
Or "Lammy" as his Yetti wife likes to call him.
Lamodom is having the best week ever because I think he's finally divorcing Khlo.
My sources tell me it's actually true this time.
Another marital swing and a miss for the old Kardashian clan.
But it's totally fine, now Khloe will finally be able to marry her true love, Rob. (Her brother.)
But who is really having the best week ever???
Nebraska.
That's right. My lovely state has packed up their husker gear and is walking around
the streets of Chicago like they own the place.
Tomorrow Nebraska plays at Northwestern. And like the devoted fans we are, everybody came to town to watch.
You might not know this, but it's Nebraska law that when you travel to out of town games you are REQUIRED to wear Husker attire at all times. No exceptions.
So to say I've seen a lot of dads walking around Michigan avenue in their red Husker pullovers
with their cargo style light denim jeans in their white NIKES, well that would be an undestatement.
But you can hardly blame the guys.
I mean look who their style icon is...
Our coach, Bo Pelini, dresses like a dorky twelve year old boy.
He lives in hoodies and wears khaki pants like he's late for his shift at Target.
Man, I love Nebraska fans.
Some of us might struggle with fashion, but we're good folk.
And this is has been another edition of The Daily Tay's Best Week Ever.
The Daily Tay's Best Week Ever.
I'll tell you who isn't having the best day ever,
that would be me.
I think I accidentally drank one too many brews last night
because I woke up hurting.
Like the can't stand without hunching-need french fries-don't want to drink ever again-type of hurting.
But luckily I got over that by the time I joined my parents for lunch at Ditkas
and was able to choke down a Bloody Mary.
First up is my girl Gabby Douglas.
The Gabster. The Dougmeister. G Dugs.
She was awarded ESPN's sportswoman of the year.
Although at only sixteen, she's hardly a woman.
And given her BMI I highly doubt she's even started her mensies. So just like B Spears, Gabby is not a girl, not yet a woman, either.
You know what I won when I was sixteen?
The 100 meter dash at the Pierce, Nebraska invite. Pretty sure my record still stands even.
I also won a microwave at Post Prom when I was sixteen, so that was pretty cool too.
And how bout Gab's arms? Those guns are looking good. A little too good.
Let's just say I won't be surprised if ten years down the road her medals are stripped from her...
You heard it here first.
Speaking of... Next up on my list is
Lance Armstrong
Like they always say, any press is good press. And he's been all over the news.
So I don't care what anyone says about Lancer, I still think he's great.
I mean the guy has one testicle for God's sake and invented the phrase Livestrong, how bad could he really be?
I'll keep wearing my yellow band.
(I mean I would if it was still 2002.)
Next up we've got those infamous women,
The Binder Full Of Women- women.
These women are so hot right now.
Then again "binders full of women" have always been hot.
According to pedophiles anyway. Because I really don't know anyone else who keeps binders full of women (children)...
Poor Mittens, he's always being taken out of context.
And then we've got Lamar Odom.
Or "Lammy" as his Yetti wife likes to call him.
My sources tell me it's actually true this time.
Another marital swing and a miss for the old Kardashian clan.
But it's totally fine, now Khloe will finally be able to marry her true love, Rob. (Her brother.)
But who is really having the best week ever???
Nebraska.
That's right. My lovely state has packed up their husker gear and is walking around
the streets of Chicago like they own the place.
Tomorrow Nebraska plays at Northwestern. And like the devoted fans we are, everybody came to town to watch.
You might not know this, but it's Nebraska law that when you travel to out of town games you are REQUIRED to wear Husker attire at all times. No exceptions.
So to say I've seen a lot of dads walking around Michigan avenue in their red Husker pullovers
with their cargo style light denim jeans in their white NIKES, well that would be an undestatement.
But you can hardly blame the guys.
I mean look who their style icon is...
He lives in hoodies and wears khaki pants like he's late for his shift at Target.
Man, I love Nebraska fans.
Some of us might struggle with fashion, but we're good folk.
And this is has been another edition of The Daily Tay's Best Week Ever.
