One Last Skanky Hoorah

And so the time has come again.
The time when the Cinco de Mayo mini skirts have been put away,
 Memorial Day dresses are pushed to the back of the closet,
and the 4th of July cut-offs have returned to their shelf.
All that is left is one last skanky hoorah.
AKA Halloween.

We're basically two weeks away from this wonderful little holiday.
What was once my favorite day to creep on my Facebook friends and their skanky costumes,
has taken a drastic change in the last few years. And I didn't even see it happening...
Susie the slutty nurse now posts photos of her six-month-old dressed as a doctor.
 Harry Potter the Ho has her very own little Harry Potter these days.
And Cally the Dirty Cop appears to be a real cop now... Or maybe she just decided to stop dressing so whorish this time of year.
I don't really know.
Call me a creep, or a weirdo, I don't care,
I've just always loved to live vicariously through my
online friends this time of year since I've never had the balls to do the whole slutty halloween thing.

I've just never been good at skanky Halloween.
I always start out with good intentions, but somewhere along the way I screw things up.

Remember when slutty Ladybugs were really cool?
I tried that. Ended up with this-

Or how about when dressing as Britney Spears was all the rage?
Either the school girl outfit, or the Slave4You costume, or the sassy blue flight attendant dress...
Well somehow I missed the memo and ended up as pregnant Britney...

Speaking of flight attendant, I tried to actually buy a cute costume one specific year.
Thought it might be my only chance at slutty Halloween.
But then I still managed to screw it up by wearing a life jacket over the top.
(It was my tribute to Captain Sully, obvi.)

Then girls started taking innocent characters like Disney Princesses and cartoon characters
and made them seem naughty.
I tried to do Cookie Monster- looked like this.
Probably didn't help I carried around a huge bag of cookies all night.

I searched high and low for a photo of me the year I went as Olive from Little Miss Sunshine,
but I can't seem to find one anywhere.
Must be a reason for that..

Anyway, such is the evolution of my Halloween life.

I'm predicting this year we will see a lot of:

*Hunger Games People
*Political Figures
*Olympians
*Honey Boo Boo Family Members (I hope!)
*Psy from Gangnam Style
*Naked Prince Harry
*Snooki's baby
*Overly Tan Lady from New Jersey
*The Amish
More specifically the Amish from Breaking Amish
And all of your other standard cliche costumes.

That's just my guess.
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Cool.