So yesterday was a bit of an eye opener for me...
I told Chris Monday night,
"I'm think I'm gonna write a funny political post just making fun of both of the candidates and stuff."
And he said, nothing. Because the Packers game was on.
So that was that.
And then I wrote the post and didn't think anything of it.
Apparently some people did..
But I didn't really care, with my "humor" this is something I've learned to deal with.
But then people took the time to click "unfollow."
And I did care.
It sounds stupid, but bloggers work hard for followers.
So I was like shit, what did I do wrong.
Well obviously I knew, I wrote something they didn't want to read.
And that's their choice.
So then I thought, I just won't write stuff like that anymore.
But that's what I do... If I change how I write, doesn't that make me a sell out or something?
(a sell-out regarding the $20 my blog rakes in a month)
So I was a bit torn for like 8 minutes, all I wanted was a good heart-to-heart with Danny Tanner
where he could tell me it's all going to be okay, and I can't please everybody,
and Kimmy Gibler is a whorish neighbor and little Stephanie is going to develop a meth problem in her twenties.
But Danny wasn't around.
So instead I thought I'd write a post where you guys could see my "softer side."
Come see the Softer Side of Sears
Okay, why the hell did that slogan just automatically pop in my head?
Wasn't that from like 1994? Anyone else remember this?
Things That Prove My Heart Isn't Full of Sarcasm and Hate
Animals.
"You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat something that can do nothing for them."
I hope the time would never come that I'd have to take a bullet for Harlow, but I would.
And I'd probably take one for you dog too.
For some sick reason I spend hours torturing myself at night reading about animal abuse and dog fights
trying to figure out how I can help it.
My monthly donation isn't cutting it.
And yet I haven't had the man power to create my own task force to stop it myself, either.
I want to see a movie like Taken only about dogs kidnapped to dog fight.
It will be called Bitten.
And it would cause awareness. I'll put it on my to-do list.
Lifetime.
I watch it. Sometimes. But TLC is kinda the new Lifetime if you ask me.
Bullys.
I've worked in high schools and elementary schools for the past four years,
so I see a lot of them.
And they get my blood boiling. (Which I guess does nothing to prove to you I have a soft side.)
When I see a kid getting picked on I do everything in my power to single that kid out
and make them feel "cool" or "special" or whatever I can do.
And then you know what else I do? I use the power of my sarcastic tongue
to embarrass said bully (only a little, calm down) just because there's nothing more gratifying
than to see the kid who is alway picked on get to be on the other side for once.
but bullies are mean because they're bullied at home..
I know, spare me the comment. Sometimes you just can't help it.
RAOK.
Random. Acts. Of. Kindness.
I prefer to do my good deeds when nobody else can see them or know about them.
Not because I'm saintly (I know you thought I was up until now)
just because that's how I roll.
Banana Bread.
I love to bake it.
Mean people don't bake.
And I love to make homemade chex-mex. And that shit's a lot harder than you'd think to make.
Youtube Videos of Soldier Reunions.
Can't get enough of these.
Reunions with kids, wives, hubbys, DOGS! I love them all.
I can't imagine choosing to leave your loved ones in the name of your country.
Talk about selfless.
I Participate in Stripper Bachelorette Parties Even Though They Make Me Very Uncomfortable.
Yes, I'm wearing shorts under this dress. C'mon.
This was only one time. But I'd probably do it again.
I Like to Make Things Right
Like today when Harlow jumped over the fence at the dog park and started to eat the man's lunch who was sitting just outside on the bench...
He said it "wasn't a big deal." But I knew it was. Lunch is the highlight of most peoples day.
I demanded he give me his address so I can send him money to repay him for the meal.
I know he doesn't think I'll send him anything. But it's already in the mail.
Litter.
I pick it up on the reg.
I mean like trash, not kitty litter. That would be weird.
If you say that word too fast it starts to get confusing.
Litter. Litter. Litter.
Pollution is called litter, right?
Is it bad this list was really hard to come up with?
Shit, I need to stop being such a hard ass.
I genuinely just try to write things that make people laugh.
That's all I'm really after here.
(Well that and your sponsorship.)
I told Chris Monday night,
"I'm think I'm gonna write a funny political post just making fun of both of the candidates and stuff."
And he said, nothing. Because the Packers game was on.
So that was that.
And then I wrote the post and didn't think anything of it.
Apparently some people did..
But I didn't really care, with my "humor" this is something I've learned to deal with.
But then people took the time to click "unfollow."
And I did care.
It sounds stupid, but bloggers work hard for followers.
So I was like shit, what did I do wrong.
Well obviously I knew, I wrote something they didn't want to read.
And that's their choice.
So then I thought, I just won't write stuff like that anymore.
But that's what I do... If I change how I write, doesn't that make me a sell out or something?
(a sell-out regarding the $20 my blog rakes in a month)
So I was a bit torn for like 8 minutes, all I wanted was a good heart-to-heart with Danny Tanner
where he could tell me it's all going to be okay, and I can't please everybody,
and Kimmy Gibler is a whorish neighbor and little Stephanie is going to develop a meth problem in her twenties.
But Danny wasn't around.
So instead I thought I'd write a post where you guys could see my "softer side."
Come see the Softer Side of Sears
Okay, why the hell did that slogan just automatically pop in my head?
Wasn't that from like 1994? Anyone else remember this?
Things That Prove My Heart Isn't Full of Sarcasm and Hate
Animals.
I hope the time would never come that I'd have to take a bullet for Harlow, but I would.
And I'd probably take one for you dog too.
For some sick reason I spend hours torturing myself at night reading about animal abuse and dog fights
trying to figure out how I can help it.
My monthly donation isn't cutting it.
And yet I haven't had the man power to create my own task force to stop it myself, either.
I want to see a movie like Taken only about dogs kidnapped to dog fight.
It will be called Bitten.
And it would cause awareness. I'll put it on my to-do list.
Lifetime.
I watch it. Sometimes. But TLC is kinda the new Lifetime if you ask me.
Bullys.
I've worked in high schools and elementary schools for the past four years,
so I see a lot of them.
And they get my blood boiling. (Which I guess does nothing to prove to you I have a soft side.)
When I see a kid getting picked on I do everything in my power to single that kid out
and make them feel "cool" or "special" or whatever I can do.
And then you know what else I do? I use the power of my sarcastic tongue
to embarrass said bully (only a little, calm down) just because there's nothing more gratifying
than to see the kid who is alway picked on get to be on the other side for once.
but bullies are mean because they're bullied at home..
I know, spare me the comment. Sometimes you just can't help it.
RAOK.
Random. Acts. Of. Kindness.
I prefer to do my good deeds when nobody else can see them or know about them.
Not because I'm saintly (I know you thought I was up until now)
just because that's how I roll.
Banana Bread.
I love to bake it.
Mean people don't bake.
And I love to make homemade chex-mex. And that shit's a lot harder than you'd think to make.
Youtube Videos of Soldier Reunions.
Can't get enough of these.
Reunions with kids, wives, hubbys, DOGS! I love them all.
I can't imagine choosing to leave your loved ones in the name of your country.
Talk about selfless.
I Participate in Stripper Bachelorette Parties Even Though They Make Me Very Uncomfortable.
This was only one time. But I'd probably do it again.
I Like to Make Things Right
Like today when Harlow jumped over the fence at the dog park and started to eat the man's lunch who was sitting just outside on the bench...
He said it "wasn't a big deal." But I knew it was. Lunch is the highlight of most peoples day.
I demanded he give me his address so I can send him money to repay him for the meal.
I know he doesn't think I'll send him anything. But it's already in the mail.
Litter.
I pick it up on the reg.
I mean like trash, not kitty litter. That would be weird.
If you say that word too fast it starts to get confusing.
Litter. Litter. Litter.
Pollution is called litter, right?
Is it bad this list was really hard to come up with?
Shit, I need to stop being such a hard ass.
I genuinely just try to write things that make people laugh.
That's all I'm really after here.
(Well that and your sponsorship.)
