I've got this warped sense of fear when it comes to
animals, insects, dirty napkins, ext.
For example I don't have one ounce of terror around a bee,
hell I've approached a full swarm of bees trying to save my best friend before.
Well actually that was Veida from My Girl, but I'd do the same thing because Thomas
"can't see without his glasses!"
The point is, bees don't scare me.
But I'll be damned if I'm ever trapped in a room with a moth.
I literally turn into a lunatic and throw all social norms out the window,
screaming and batting my arms in the air like acid is raining from the sky.
Take this fear and multiply times ten for a locust.
I will not be one bit surprised if locusts are the death of me.
But this will mean hell has literally taken over the world, so locusts will be the death of many.
I'm getting off point. My warped sense of fear:
rats scare the bejesus out of me, but I find opossums oddly cute.
Note to self: put silent "O" in front of first born's name just to throw people off.
Bats have the face of a tiny puppy (google it, you'll agree)
but birds give me nightmares. Especially those demonic hummingbirds.
And today. Well today, I was confronted with my #1 arch enemy from childhood:
the tick.
Harlow and I had just returned from a lovely little venture at the park.
I was taking photos of him doing cute things like,
"barking up the wrong tree,"
and this is also the same beloved place where they have drinking fountains just for dogs.
And by the looks of this sweet old man they also have a time machine nearby...
I don't know which would be worse.
Finally I pulled back real quick.
Harlow jumped up.
I freaked out.
The nail clippers shot in the air.
And the tick... well the tick went MIA.
And that's why I now sit at Starbucks.
Everything in my room must be burned before I can return.
animals, insects, dirty napkins, ext.
For example I don't have one ounce of terror around a bee,
hell I've approached a full swarm of bees trying to save my best friend before.
Well actually that was Veida from My Girl, but I'd do the same thing because Thomas
"can't see without his glasses!"
The point is, bees don't scare me.
But I'll be damned if I'm ever trapped in a room with a moth.
I literally turn into a lunatic and throw all social norms out the window,
screaming and batting my arms in the air like acid is raining from the sky.
Take this fear and multiply times ten for a locust.
I will not be one bit surprised if locusts are the death of me.
But this will mean hell has literally taken over the world, so locusts will be the death of many.
I'm getting off point. My warped sense of fear:
rats scare the bejesus out of me, but I find opossums oddly cute.
Note to self: put silent "O" in front of first born's name just to throw people off.
Bats have the face of a tiny puppy (google it, you'll agree)
but birds give me nightmares. Especially those demonic hummingbirds.
And today. Well today, I was confronted with my #1 arch enemy from childhood:
the tick.
Harlow and I had just returned from a lovely little venture at the park.
I was taking photos of him doing cute things like,
"barking up the wrong tree,"
and this is also the same beloved place where they have drinking fountains just for dogs.
And by the looks of this sweet old man they also have a time machine nearby...
But now I fear we can't go back because it's infected.
When we got home from the park, Har collapsed on the floor.
And by floor I mean my bed. But I didn't want you to judge me for letting my dirty
dog sleep in my bed. I judge myself enough for it, so spare me.
And then I noticed the creepy little bastard in his ear.
Almost instantly I felt the tick on me. I felt ticks all over me.
The moment I see a creepy insect I'm sure they're already hijacking my body.
I quickly grabbed a few tools (tweezers, nail clipper, Q-tip, and butter knife just in case.)
But nobody told me ticks have a death grip. That little sucker would not let go.
And then it dawned on me, ticks are just small vampires in bug costumes.
Or perhaps vampires are ticks in celebrity costumes.I don't know which would be worse.
Finally I pulled back real quick.
Harlow jumped up.
I freaked out.
The nail clippers shot in the air.
And the tick... well the tick went MIA.
And that's why I now sit at Starbucks.
Everything in my room must be burned before I can return.
