Starting off the episode with breakfast in bed.
Why does this not surprise me.
I bet Emily's mom serves her b&b every morning.
And knowing Emily she probably doesn't even spill crumbs in her sheets.
If someone gives me breakfast in bed it's for two reasons-
I'm either turning seven years old (thanks mom)
or I'm too hungover to get out of bed (thanks Chris.)
And when it's the latter of the two it's usually fast food
that inevitably gets spilled all over the sheets
and ketchup and grease is hard to get out.
that inevitably gets spilled all over the sheets
and ketchup and grease is hard to get out.
Which is why I'm not not high on the whole breakfast in bed notion.
Anyway,
I feel like this episode consisted of a few things-
a. country singing
b. awkward country dancing
c. guys crying
d. Dolly Parton giving love advice... giggles.
And how about that group date?
If someone took me to a park and then unleashed a bunch of eight year olds
on me I'd go absolutely nuts.
So touche to all of the guys and how they pretended to be having an awesome time
with all of that.
Although it clearly upset Tony...
You know, Tony the lumber jack from Beaverton, Oregon-
the guy
who cried obsessively on the phone with his little boy,
"he's just at home, playing games, and I'm here
and he's like where's dad? and I'm like, dad went to find love."
And then he got sent home.
Bet Tony didn't see the whole
"I just really love my kid and that's what we have in common"
backfiring like it did.
Maybe now all of the other guys will stop pretending they have children, as well.
And then that one-on-one with Arie...
The time when Emily showed all of us her comical shitty side.
I usually despise all guys on this show, but I actually kinda like Arie.
So when Emmers tried to "mess with him"
and pretend he got cut I damn near threw my phone at the TV.
But then I look at photos like this-
But we all went through weird phases in the early 2000's...
And who hasn't posed like this dressed in a race car suit before?
Is it just me,
or does Kalon need to stop watching Cruel Intentions?
He is not, and never will,
Sebastian.
He's a digger.
Like the way he kept digging himself in a deeper and deeper hole.
"I always thought my first child would be my own."
and
"I love when you talk, but would you let me finish?
and
"Shut your the hell up or I'm going to punch you."
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse better
Allesandro opens his big foreign mouth.
All I heard was
"blah blah blah your daughter is a compromise."
I think that's all Emily heard, as well.
By the time we got to the rose ceremony there was
only one guy left to be sent home.
And unfortunately that guy had to be the creepy
DJ/ robotic dancer with the weird hair and chiklets for teeth.
Until next time, lead the life-
