Blogging is so hot right now.

Blogging is so hot right now. If you’re not doing it, you should. One of my consultants, Dannie, is always giving me tips on the hottest blogs at the moment. And from what I’ve gathered, the thing that separates me from making enough blog money to drink for a night, to making enough blog money to drink enough for an entire month is the BFF. Babies. Food. Fashion. People eat this shit up apparently. It’s what sets me a part from 75 followers and 75,000.

This is me riding my bike around the city. Nbd.

So I have to start posting more photos of Knox doing cute stuff, popular baby photos include messy food faces, bath time fun and trying on silly hats in stores As for food, well Chris and I typically eat Tony’s Pizza for dinner so I hope a photo of a pizza box will suffice? And my “fashion” is work attire. So get ready for me to dazzle the shit out of you with all of my faded black pencil skirts that I pair with another shade of a faded black long sleeved Target shirt (like the expensive kind that you buy in their “working woman” section) that I tie all together with whatever scarf was still hung on my coat from the night before.

Your furniture doesn't look like this? Too bad.

The other thing I have to do is really start fancying my life up to make you feel bad about yours. Some of the most popular blogs I’ve seen are written by an unusually gorgeous women about her sickly beautiful husband and their stupidly pretty child and all of the fun shit they do together- all while dressed like they just stepped out of an Anthropology magazine. They go to the park and they go to lunch and they make holiday crafts and they drink wine while they cook pretty looking healthy meals. I scroll through all of their photos and am left feeling completely disgusted with my own life. I don’t wear lipstick during the day. Or night. Because I look like a tranny.

Crafts time! We're so cute!

Where are the photos of them lying on their couch with a bad of Doritos and a Dt. Mt Dew? Maybe covered up with a blanket that is drenched in dog hair. No? Just me? Nobody else comes straight home from work with great intentions of doing productive things and instead chooses to pop in a frozen meal and lay on the couch watching hours of reality TV while browsing Facebook waiting until the moment it’s time to have a post dinner snack and then drift off to sleep… Me neither. I’m a blogger. My life is so cool.