A Letter of Apology

To whom it may concern: so basically everyone I encountered Saturday after about 3:30 p.m.



I'd like to take this moment to express my apologies regarding Saturday's behavior... My actions were completely inexcusable, inappropriate, and entirely embarrassing. I'll begin by apologizing to the entire staff at the Bar. It was very unnecessary for me to spit my drink at the bartender. I think I did this on accident, I have very bad allergies right now. The RBV was delicious, I'm sure I wouldn't have spit it out purpose. It's up for speculation as to whether or not that was the reason I got "kicked out," I've been told. So I'm sorry I snuck back in the side door five minutes later. I'm also very sorry to the doorman at the Bar. I guess I thought he enjoyed me sitting beside him to help him check ID's. When he continued to tell me to leave him the hell alone, I figured this was just all a part of the fun. My bad. Please don't ban me from coming back in. I will be good from now on. Let's see who else is on my list... Oh yes, sorry to the person I kept calling last night from Kate's phone whom I thought was Chris's number. Even though you insisted this wasn't "Chris your boyfriend," I continued to call and harass you, please disregard the three slurry voicemails. Sorry, I guess I was just really worried. In case you didn't hear, I lost Chris last night. Yes, it was a very scary experience. Thus the reason I was balling hysterically saying, "but I can't find him, he's gone, where is he. I can't find him" to anyone who would listen. Yup, I was drunk girl crying on game day. I chalk this one up to the fact that right now I'm reading the Jaycee Dugard book, so naturally after I hadn't seen Chris for roughly an hour? Maybe two? Who knows time is an illusion on game days. Like Alan says, "Lincoln is a time machine that only goes forward." Anyway, I'm quite sure I decided Chris must have been kidnapped. So I cried and cried, it was a very rough thirty minutes. Thanks again to all who helped me find Chris before I reported him missing to the police. Luckily, Chris was safe and sound at the Rail. I should have known. Once he gets in that Dj booth he doesn't leave. Oh well, at least he wasn't taken away forced to live in a tent for the next 20 years like I had originally feared. Okay who is next.. the entire staff at Lazzaris, the Rail staff and fellow patrons. And Theta... I am sorry I took down the composite in the basement and ran through the house screaming bazar chants, I really hope I didn't wake anyone. Or when I rang the doorbell 20 times... Thanks again to the sweet non drinker girl who let Kate and I inside. That was really nice of you, and also a pretty big mistake. You'll discover the other shenanigans I did around the house semi soon I imagine... Again, sorry. My deepest apologies to the youngins in the Fiji living room whom I decided to "haze" with a whiffle bat. That was completely unnecessary. I hope the red marks went away by this morning. And I really hope the couple in the basement TV room didn't mind that Chris, Alan, Aj, Kate and I jumped in on their late night movie date and took over the couch and the blankets they were cuddled up under.



Anyone else I encountered along the way, I apologize. Gamedays are hard. And I was just really excited I think. But this doesn't make anything I did okay. I woke up with the "oh shit" feeling on the Fiji basement floor using a couch cushion as a blanket. Yikes. I knew right then I had worn out my welcome in college town and it was time to get the hell out of there. So you win again Lincoln, I'm happy to say I won't be seeing you for a while. Until Ohio State...