I'm goin on a job hunt.

Today is going to be a good day I decided. I got up early, took a nice long shower and got dressed in my best "hire me" outfit and headed downtown to a Chicago career fair... And five minutes later here I am sitting at Starbucks. I was hesitant about a grown up career fair from the get-go, but you can't be too picky when you're unemployed. So against my better judgement I went. I couldn't help but feel just a little bit like Ben Affleck in the Company Men. I was on the job hunt not just for myself, but for Chris and Harlow too. Someone has to put food on the table. Except I soon realized the people I found myself surrounded by were not as good looking as the cast of Company Men, and I can only assume none lived in million dollar homes or drove sports cars.



When I got to the registration table my better judgement kicked in and I decided I better get the hell out of there. The lady I followed up to the registration table was wearing cowboy boots- warning sign number one. The man I first saw at the registration table was wearing a Dwight-style short sleeve work shirt- warning sign number two. And the person speaking at the registration table, the person who I am assuming was supposed to get all of us job seekers "pumped up," was wearing a tie with cartoon characters on it. I shit you not. Warning sign number three. Even after all of these signs I made myself stay just a little longer. I stayed in the mix of other forty-year-old unemployed people until the Motivator Man passed out the list of the companies who were attending the fair. It was an impressive list. The Army, the Marines, a Security company, the DEA, a few insurance companies, a Dairy Delivery store, all in one place? How did someone manage that one? The only clincher was that only one company actually required a degree... And that company was Devry University. Have you heard of Devry? Well it's the Art Institutes sister college. How's that for irony. As tempting as it was to get a job as a security guard, I knew that was my cue to leave.



So now I sit at Starbucks pondering my next move. My only hope is that my drunken shenanigans from the previous weekend finally pay off for once. And by shenanigans I mean the fact that I got a little tipsy and found the liquid courage I needed to approach every Tom, Dick and drunk Harry on the the street Saturday night insisting they fill out a post card. Perhaps drunk people aren't the best customers to depend on for a new business venture. What can you do. On this said night Chris and I also decided to check out Chicago's fame Husker bar, Kirkwoods. Upon entering the first thing you notice is a huge Nebraska flag that says "Welcome Home." Well, drunk-me was very excited about this and in a matter of seconds I had conjured up this wonderful notion in my mind that "Welcome Home" must truly mean that the inside of this bar would be full of the best Husker fans in Chicago, and there would undoubtedly have to be at least a dozen people I would know. And we all know how thrilling it is to run into someone out of town that you partially know. So you can imagine my disappointment when I found out not only did I know no one, but the bartenders didn't know me either. Nobody was even dressed in Husker attire, and why would they be it was just another Saturday night. But this really set me off. I insisted everybody was a bunch of "posers," a word sober-me doesn't use, and felt no one should be allowed in unless they had actually gone to Nebraska. I sat at my own little table scowling at every person who passed. I was in a weird place. I finally took it too far when I stole a fish bowl from the table next to me when they went outside to smoke. I remember thinking that the fishbowl really belonged to me, because I was a true Nebraska fan, not them. They had probably never even been to Duffy's, and everyone knows Duffy's is the birthplace of fishbowls. It was around this time when Chris and I decided it was time to go.



And so another weekend passed all too quickly. I'm thinking positive about this week though, I really am. I can feel an interview coming on any day now... First comes the interview, then comes a job. Then comes me quitting a week later. Not this time though, I'm really buckling down.