Hot enough for you?

Today I decided to try something new and took Harlow to Chicago's dog park beach. It was literally a little piece of dog heaven out there. Dogs of all breeds, shapes and sizes frolicked together to escape the heatwave rolling through Chicago right now. The cool water felt amazingly refreshing. But you had to be careful because there were hot pockets everywhere, unlike humans, dogs don't even attempt to fake it when they piss in a lake. The scary part is when you see them all hunched over in the water in their poop pose. Luckily, I only saw one man doing this today and I stayed as far away from his as possible. Harlow and I played on the "big dog" side of the beach with other dogs named things like Zeus, Drake and Bear, you know, big dog names. I was having a lot of fun playing with Harlow in the water, but in seconds I was surrounded by all the labs and pit bulls wanting to play with me too. Dogs are a lot like preschool kids, when they spot the one adult wanting to play on the playground they all spaz out and want to join the fun. And you can call me a racist, but I refuse to play with pit bulls because they eat babies. I know it might just be a stereotype, but I believe pit bulls eat babies like bullmastiffs eat baseballs. So I just refuse to play with both.

So is it hot anywhere else, or just here? Because boy oh boy it's stinking hot here. So hot in fact, that last night there was blackout through out the city, Chris and I were without electricity from 8 p.m.-5 a.m. It made for a long night. But even more annoying than not having air conditioning, is the constant heat small talk I get everywhere I turn. Man at the gas station, "it hot enough out there for you?" Woman on the train, "woo weee, hot enough out there for you darling?" Man at the dog beach, "gotta be at the beach, hot out enough for ya today?" What's with that question? Hot enough for you? Why does everybody ask it, and how am I supposed to answer it? Hot enough for what I wonder? What are all these people insinuating? It what it is. And that's hot, so deal with it and stop asking about it. I guess the heat makes me a little irritated. And you know what else irritates me? Hair feathers. What in the hell is this all about, will someone tell me the source of the trend here? Because I have a feeling some celeb got drunk one night and wore one out to a bar that was saturated with a bunch of hairstylists and they grabbed onto this like the next hot trend that it is. Well I think it's dumb, and obviously I'm an expert on hair style since I've had one solid style since 1993 with a minor blip in 2007 when I attempted a "Britney bob." If anything this "feather" reminds me a little bit of the bead braid my mom rocked from about 1991-1995. I'm talking about just a small strand of hair that's braided with a few beads on the end, maybe some jewels or gems for a special occasion like a vacation, while the rest of the hair is cut super short. My mom had this going on through out her Jazzercise years, and I gotta say, the braid looked pretty schnazzy alongside her neon splattered thong unitards. But that too passed, like I'm sure the feather will. So my question is what's next... An actual fish tail you put in your hair? A dog tail? A dog ear? Whatever it is I'm sure the girls of Josephs Beauty schools are already hard at work preparing for this next great thing.

Time for a Blue Moon. It's the only way I can survive this heat wave trapped in a city of no pools and small talkers.