TGIFBIARTHM.

You haven't heard this phrase yet? Where have you been? It means "Thank God It's Friday Because I Am Ready To Hang Myself." Just when I thought highschooler's weren't all that bad anymore and maybe I shouldn't be so hard on them I get it all thrown back in my face today ten times over. You know what, I don't care that it's Friday, that doesn't give you the right to act like a total ass bag all day. Homecoming is tomorrow? Big deal!!! I hope you all get MIPs/get your dates pregnant because after the way you treated me today that's the least what you deserve.

If I had a dollar for every single smart ass comment I received I would have almost enough money to take myself out and get drunk to the point to forget today. Better yet, I would have almost enough to buy some pot to plant in these little devil's lockers to get them kicked out of school. I don't know what the deal was, but these little creeps were extra douchebaggy today. Like I had to listen to Hard Knock Life by Jay Z on repeat for almost the entire ride home, usually I only need to hear it three or four times to calm down after work- this tells you how bad it was. I was lucky I got out of that classroom when I did because I was seconds away from busting through the window and riding my cooler on wheels down the roof to freedom. I'll take you for a little walk through some of the standard comments I got today:

Me: So do any of you know what the name of this knife is that I am using?

Demons: Big knife! Sharp knife! Cutting Knife!

There is nothing remotely clever about this response. I hear it weekly and each time it aggravates me all the more, and also saddens me that high school students seem to have completely lost the art of sarcasm.

Me: Now I'm going to add some feta cheese, have you ever had feta before?

Demons: Ya, I mean if it's the same as Fettuccine. Hahahaha.

No. No, it's not. That's like comparing apples to oranges, cheese to noodles you dip shit.

Me: Now I'm going to use a little lime juice.

Demons: Is that the same as a cherrylime?

Me: I don't know what you're talking about. What's a cherry lime? Like a smaller lime?

Demons: Well where does Sonic get them then?

Oh ahahahahaha. Isn't that hilarious!!! You're talking about a cherry limeade, aren't you?

Me: So do you guys have any other questions?

Demons: Ya. Will you go to Homecoming with me?

Sure. If my other option is being shot in the head.

Me: Ok, now I'm going to add some salt to enhance the flavor, did you know salt does that? It's like how Gloria added salt to her chocolate milk in the show Modern Family. Do you guys watch that?

Demons: Nope. Never. None. No idea. Never heard of it.

Okay, maybe this was just a personal blow, and that's why I got so offended. But I just fail to believe no one could have heard of Modern Family. Everybody knows of that show. Give me a break. I have to stop there because I am starting to get riled again. I don't want to go back there, it took me a few hours of walking around Von Maur and Nordstroms just to return to my happy place today. I don't know how people deal with these little deviants on a regular basis. They've just got bad attitudes. After I yelled at one group of guys today for being rude and talking the entire time they all turned their chairs around and wouldn't look at me and proceeded to give me the silent treatment with their fat arms folded across their chests. What did they think, that I was seriously going to be mad they wouldn't talk to me or answer any of my questions? Was this supposed to be my punishment? Puh lease. Give me the silent treatment any day over having to hear their Justin Bieberish pre pubescent scratchy voices. I'm done. Today has just been too much.