I know I'm a little late (like six months) but I just finally had the chance to watch Breaking Dawn. So let me give a quick rundown on things I noticed.
First things first.
On creating the guest list. I know this can be the most difficult part of a wedding. Who to invite, who not to invite. But perhaps when you're marrying a vampire you should think twice about inviting the werewolf gang. If you marry a crip do you invite the bloods? No, gang wedding etiquette 101. But what do I know, I've never married a Cullen.
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| Don't act so surprised. Didn't you get the Save the Date? |
The bachelor party. We didn't get to see much of this. And I want to know why. What does a vampire do on his bachelor party? I mean... I thought about this for awhile and came up with some pretty interesting ideas. Thinking something along the lines of Showgirls and the movie Carrie. I'll leave it at that.
On the kiss. Anyone else think this was a little much? C'mon Bella and Edward, you may feel alone, you made that very clear, but you weren't! And the rest of us started to blush and had to look away during your makeout session. Kinda put that white dress to shame...
To the bride. Try not to look so miserable/scared/constipated through out your entire wedding and reception. And pretty much the entire movie for that matter.
To the groom. Tan. Spray tan. Mystic tan. Real tan. Do something so you don't look so strung out on your wedding day.
On the honeymoon. Is sunny Rio really the best spot for a vampire couple to travel? I thought they weren't into the whole sun thing.
On the elephant in the room. Aka "racial" issues. So if I've got this right, is every Native American a werewolf/have super natural powers? Whether it's Jacob in Washington or the house keeper in Brazil? Because if this is true, I'm not going into another casino ever again.
On giving birth to a vampire: Bella, don't be a hero! It's called an epidural!
On Edward during the birth: So... Did he pull the baby out with his teeth or did I interpret that wrong? Is this a common vampire birthing process I wonder. Because if so, TLC needs to do a Baby Vampire Story ASAP.
and then it's all over.
And all I'm left wondering is if anyone thought to grab a camera and capture those beloved newborn pics real quick. The way that baby grew if they wait even a day or two it will be asking to borrow the car keys and raiding the fridge for beer. Or blood in this case.
