Bullies

Well I finally saw the Social Network. It was...interesting. It made realize two things: 1. My dear Facebook was built on a bed of lies. and 2. I should have accepted that scholarship to Harvard. Harvard looks like the secret society I always knew I should have been a part of. The underground parties, the offices with dark cherry wood and fire places, and future millionaires walking around everywhere. I would have fit in perfectly. Harvard and Nebraska were my two top choices for college, I am not going to say I made a mistake with my choice... But I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like. Nevermind that though, the past is in the past. I did like a quote from the movie that the dean of students said,
"Harvard students would much rather invent a job, than spend time looking for one." I like that. That's going to become my new motto right along side my current one, "my futures so bright I gotta wear Ray-Bans."

So I feel like I can't turn on the news without hearing a story about the increasing problem of bullying in our country. Call me crazy, but I don't feel the word "increasing" is necessary. Hasn't bullying been around forever? Isn't bullying the central concept for which all great 90's movies were based upon? Dazed and Confused anyone? A young Ben Affleck beats the shit out of every freshman he can find with a paddle. Can't Buy Me Love? A hunky Patrick Dempsey is taunted for being a dork and having a lesbian best friend so he pays a girl to pretend to be his girl friend. Today this would be called prostitution, and if Patrick was over 18 and the girl of his dreams was under 18 he would be convicted on numerous counts of statutory rape- but let's not take away for the cute love story feeling of this movie. So why in the 90's was bullying considered a right of passage and now it's considered breaking the law? I'll tell you why. It's because of the internet. Cowardly bullies turn to cyberspace to prey on insecure, most likely gay/lesbian teens, rather than beating them with paddles like they used to. Kids are just so mean, I see it everyday and it takes all my restraint not to jump on the bullies and take them down a few notches. Now this might come as a surprise, but I myself, was bullied. Once. Yup, it was actually just one day in junior high when I had just had a tumor removed from my toe (yes tumors grow in toes) and I had to wear a boot to school. But for some reason the doctor didn't have a boot that was my correct size so I was wearing a men size 10 boot for a few days, I didn't mind that, what I did mind was the fact that I was having to wear a large bandage under my chin at this time, as well, I had just had a cist removed. I must have been drinking some funky water at this point in my life to grow a tumor in my toe and a cist in my chin at the same time... But it's true. When I picture myself at this time I think I must have looked a little like Ebenezer Scrooge- with a huge bandage under my chin and gimping/dragging my right foot behind me. Not my best moment. But back to the bullying incident, I walked into gym class one day to find the skater boys (the type Avril sang about) all huddled together, and then one guy in particular, I won't say his name even though I obviously remember the little asshole, turned toward me and said something along the lines of,

"are you seriously wearing a boot and a band aid on your chin? Why wouldn't you stay home to save yourself a little embarrassment?" And then he and his skaters all started laughing.

This didn't suit well with me. I responded with something mature like,

"ya I can see why you would make fun of me for having a tumor in my toe and having to wear a boot. It's soooo humiliating. But at least my boot comes off, you'll be ugly forever." and then I'm pretty sure I ended with something like, "and the worst part is your dad is even uglier than you, so you really don't have a shot."

Naturally, his friends laughed. But I can still remember the look on the little jerk's face and that I had honestly hurt his feelings. So now I felt bad, which was ridic because he started it. I could have cared less that he made fun of me, but now I felt like the ass for making fun of him. Could be me being arrogant, but I have really never cared what people said, I always knew I would just be able to come back at them with something ten times worse. I don't think I could have been bullied even if someone tried. When the dirty girls would want to start fights with us preps my response to them was that they could go ahead and hit me if they wanted but I had my lawyer on speed dial, and I told them there was no way they could afford a lawyer so they'd be screwed. I guess that was kind of mean of me. But I wasn't a bully, I just reacted proactively toward other bullies. So if parents want to help their kids from getting bullied perhaps they should try harder to raise sarcastic smart asses and not worry so much about raising simply smart kids.