Some peanuts (or pretzels) for thought

1. When it feels like the toddler in the seat behind  you is playing gymnastics/karate/world cup is it rude to ask them to stop?

2. If the large person next to you has an even larger leg encompassing your section of the seat can you slowly use your own leg to push theirs back to their side?

3. Why do I still get a thrill at seeing backyard swimming pools from the sky? You would think I would be over this by now.

4. How come the Sky Mall magazines seem to have every gagdet anyone could possibly want but will never actually buy?  i.e. Headache reliever wrap,"Keep Your Distance" bug vacuum, and pet trampoline. 

5. Child is still kicking the shit out of my seat. How is no one else noticing this? Next time he shoves his rubber crock into my elbow I'm gona freak the F out and grab the little bastard.

6. Why do airport waitresses hate life so much? Such as the woman who took our breakfast order and refused to give me a Mimosa and grumbled away from our table and then accused me of saying she had a stutter behind her back? It was real awkward.

7. Speaking of restaurants, why is airport eating so damn good? I could have just had a feast but take me to an airport and I'm gonna want a Cinnabon and pizza and a Philly and ice cream and gummys and a salty mix of something.

8. Next time I want my own row I'm going to dress like a Muslim. The man in front of me relaxing over three seats is most definitely a fake Muslim-pretty sure I can see red hair and freckles under his white wrap thingy.

9. How come plane temperature options are either extremely cold or hot and stuffy? Isn't it time for seat warmers/coolers? At least give us the option of rolling down the windows.

10. Speaking of hot and cold- Is it a requirement that flight attendants must be Bi Polar? I feel like they're either riding down the aisle on a unicycle telling jokes and handing out free drink tickets, or their cooped up in their quarters refusing to move except to make a few demanding annoucments about seat belts or battery operated devices.

Last but not least why haven't I figured out a way to travel on a private jet? Or at the very least first class... Coach is so coach.