So Chelsea called.

In times of need, or when looking for guidance, or simply when life feels as if it's in a stand still people cope in various way. Some turn to God, others to relatives, some to alcohol, well I often found it very healing to write letters to Chelsea Handler simply expressing my thoughts about life. It all started back in 2008 after a very stressful week of sorority rush. I was distraught with my fellow sisters and so to make myself feel better I turned to the pen. I simply wrote Chelsea a letter or two introducing myself, telling her I enjoyed her books, you know the standard stuff. Well life picked up and I took a break from writing, I mean it wasn't like fan letters I was writing, more like pen pal letters. As of late I've been a little bored/hating my coworkers (highschool kids) so I figured I'd send Chels a few more letters letting her I know I might consider being her intern if she were ever looking. I didn't ask or beg, I just told her I might be looking for a new job so she should let me know ASAP before someone else grabbed ahold of me. Nothing threatening, well besides the fact I told her I would continue to write her until I heard a response. So I'd write about 3 or 4 a week, like I said, no big deal. It was all just chit chat, I'd discuss various topics with her that she had mentioned on her show, asked about Chuy every once awhile just blah blah blah. Well Thursday night Sara and I are watching the office when my phone starts to ring. As soon as I recognized the area code calling as Los Angeles I looked at Sara and said,
"Chelsea Handler is calling."
I didn't pick up, I got nervous. Luckily, the number called right back.
"Is this Taylor Wolfe?" Says a man whom I would describe sounded very large and black by the sound of his voice.
"Yes, is this Chelsea Handler?" I respond.
"This isn't actually Chelsea, but yes, I am calling on behalf of her."
"Oh I just knew it, I told my roommate, Chelsea is calling me the minute I saw this number."
Well then he kind of cut me off before I could start telling him how much Chelsea would love me as her intern.
"I am just calling to let you know that we are getting your letters. And we are taking them seriously, but I would reccomend you stop writing."
"Okkkk,but Chelsea is getting them, right?"
"Yes. But you can not get hired by writing fan mail to her every SINGLE day."
"Excuse me, but I was not writing FAN MAIL."
And then he went on to tell me that if I would like to apply for a job I have to apply at E! online. News flash, I've done that. And it doesn't work. So I'm basically no better off than where I was before all of the letters. I mean she could have at least sent a picture signed by her or something, that's what Arnold Schwarzenegger did when I used to write him when I was little. So now I can't help but think Chelsea is really no better than the rest of those losers at E!. It kinda hurts, I thought she was different.