Things 20somethings hate about Mondays.

Besides everything? How about the fact that sometimes my Monday starts before I have even gotten up. I have so much dread/anxiety for the start of a new work week that I often find myself involved in bizarre work fiasco-dreams ranging from having to fix a mistake on our computer sales program before the building blows up, to getting trapped in my desk drawer and dying from lack of air. I don't go to sleep to have to solve problems. It's such bull shit,sleep is supposed to be my time to win awards for flying over oceans and rekindling old friendships with people I haven't seen since grade school while sitting in a living room I've never been to. The only resolution I get is when I wake up, and that's just the time the real nightmare begins. I lie in my warm bed trying to come up with any logical reason why I should miss work. I'm too cold. Too tired. I'm depressed. It's too dark. My neck hurts. I have mono. I have Aids. I have to get up. Kill me. And so Monday begins.

The Monday morning ritual is awful. The warm shower is as possessive as my warm bed. My oatmeal is missing bacon and hashbrowns. And my work clothes always fit extra tight on this day. Black work pants that should fit slightly loose suddenly become borderline inappropriate pants I have to continually pull off my waist so they don't start clinging to certain frontal areas they shouldn't. I spend my entire morning dying of hunger due to the fact I've stretched my stomach to the likeliness of a Biggest Loser contestant over the course of the weekend from mass amounts of beer and pizza. Deep dish is the devil. But all I can do is drink cup after cup of coffee to keep my hunger at bay because every Monday I start "a new life." A new life of disgusting healthy food, working out, and being completely over it by usually Tuesday night. So my Mondays are spent hungry and extremely jittery.

The other thing I love about Monday is that it's the gift that keeps on giving. TV shows are bad, Dancing With the Stars, really? If Chaz Bono is a star then I'm a transgender. Facebook updates are less than impressive. The Huskers lost, get over it. Human traffic is everywhere, the train, the streets, the elevator. Bad attitudes are in full force. And all talk revolves around the weather, the fact it's Monday, and the economy. What people would talk about if not for these three things is beyond me.

It's time for Tuesday right meow.