Bachelor Edition #6

Right about now I'm wondering why on earth any man would agree to be on the Bachelor knowing that at some point he is going to have to meet/talk/kiss ass to four sets of parents and one dead grandmother. Speaking of, did anyone else think they saw Grandma standing in the window she was known to always stand in? Still not sure how I feel about Ali taking Jake on a tour of her deceased grandmother's empty house because she wanted him to "meet her." Like I've said all along though, Ali has special powers, which I am now starting to see she inherited from gma. I was honestly thinking that when Ali came into Jake's room at the end crying it was because her Grandma had told her Jake wasn't right for her or something and now she knew she had to kill him. That whole work dilemma was such a lie. What's her job anyway, wasn't she like a bartender? Was it really necessary to sob in the hotel hallway sitting Native American style?
Gia's family was as I expected, although I was surprised to see her mother was Kelly Cutrone and her brother was Andy Dick Jersey Shore styley. I do think Gia gets prettier every episode, and also a bit dumber, as well. I thought it was cute how she said one of her favorite things to do "is to sit on a stoop and watch taxis drive by." You know who else loves to do that? Dogs.
Now to little cuddle bug Tynley. Well she made up a dance for Jake, which she said was a gift to him. I am starting to understand more and more why her ex husband left her after a few months. I'd be pissed too if someone tried to give me a "dance" as a present. All seriousness, Tynely is still going to be the future Ms. Jake, or perhaps Jake is going to be Mr. Tynley, I'm still unsure with their girly little relationship who will wear the skirt. Note to mom though, never tell a guy you are hoping will propose to your daughter that she will "continue to have emotional spill overs for quite a while." That would send me to the woods as fast as anything. But then again, that was probs music to Pilot Jakey's ears. How cute was it when Tyn's dad and Jake cried and giggled together, so priceless.
Meanwhile down in the Bayou ol Dirty V is right in her element proving to be quite the River Rat. I should have known by that knappy brassy hair of hers she was either from one of two places, and since I had never seen her in Norfolk, she was clearly a product of the swamplands. I do think that it is pretty selfish of V to want to marry Jake when she is clearly already involved in a great relationship with another man. And hell, incest schmincest, V and her dad are a good match. I could tell by the way they embraced and wiped eachothers tears that they are truly meant to be. And after seeing V's upbringing I think we all know that the "numerous cars" she claimed her dad had bought her were more than likely very flashy turquoise convertible Cavaliers, maybe a mustang if he really felt like splurging, license plate reading "ddysprnces," "spnkmeddy" might be too controversial.
And now the rose ceremony. Will Ali choose work? Won't she? Will she??? Touche Ali, touche. Very clever strategy, milking all the camera time you can get... Not to mention trying to make Jake feel as if the ball is in your court. Gma definitely helped connive this one. But make your damn decision already, this back and fourth pout scene has gone on far too long. Over it. By the end of it all I can barely understand her pathetic little explanation because she sounds like a whiney little piglet. And then she drops the bomb. Hmmm. I didn't see that coming. And I don't trust it damn it. Not one bit. We'll see more of her, I am sure of it. This is just the seed of Ali's master plan, we'll find out THIS SEASON ON THE BACHELOR.