So you're all familiar with the Most Interesting Man in the World, right?
He doesn't always drink beer, but when he does it's Dos Equis.
Well here's a little Friday fun fact about me:
I don't want to boast, but I am the Most Indistinguishable Girl in the World.
I'm not kidding.
For a very long time now, at least five years I'd say,
I get falsely recognized/someone thinks they know me, at least once a week.
I'm not even exaggerating.
And I'm not trying to be one of those girls who's saying it because,
"yeah, everyone tells me I look like Megan Fox..."
Not at all.
No, apparently I look like your cousin, or your friend from college,
or the girl who dated that one guy, what was his name again???...
That's me.
It happens every where.
At bars, at restaurants, shopping, working, weddings, there is always someone
who thinks they know me, but they're not sure how.
I get it, I'm generic looking.
wait, is that the girl from the bar who wouldn't pay the bathroom attendant last weekend?
The most recent situation was Tuesday at the school I was working at.
A very large, and very vivacious African American woman came hauling up to me,
grabbed my arm and pulled me aside and said,
"Now girl, I know I know you. Which high school did you go to?"
"Norfolk Senior High." I repeated.
Which is roughly 800 miles from Chicago. In northeastern Nebraska.
So that connection would have been real out there...
"Hmm, really? How do I know you then? Because I know I do. I know I do!"
It's how it always go.
I think I know that girl from college. Is she the creep who used to try to catch the stray cats on campus?
A previous situation was just a few days before that, last Friday evening in Wrigleyville.
The door guy at the bar we were heading into looked at me and laughed and said:
"Damn, you finished that bottle fast."
So I thought that he was either implying:
a. I already looked drunk- which made me feel bad because it was only 6:00 p.m. and I wasn't!
or
b. he thought I was sneaking a bottle into the bar.
"What? I don't have a bottle." I said as I opened my purse to prove it to him.
And then he looked all confused and said,
"Sorry, I thought you were someone else."
You and the rest of the world.
Isn't that the girl who performs at little kids' birthday parties?
So after many years of trying to figure out what to do with this super power of mine,
I've finally decided.
I'm going to screw with people.
From here on out, I am going to be that girl they know.
When someone says, "hey I recognize you, are you..."
I'm just going to butt in right there and say,
"Yes, yes I am. Now how the hell have you been and why has it been so long?"
And then we'll take it from there.
The Most Indistinguishable Girl in the World:
She once dyed her hair pink,
and then accidentally walked into a Nicki Minaj concert.
She's considered a "regular"
at places she's never been.
For Halloween she went as herself,
nobody recognized her.
She doesn't often drink beer, but when she does,
it's always something you can't remember.
She is
the most indistinguishable girl in the world.
Happy Friday.
He doesn't always drink beer, but when he does it's Dos Equis.
Well here's a little Friday fun fact about me:
I don't want to boast, but I am the Most Indistinguishable Girl in the World.
I'm not kidding.
For a very long time now, at least five years I'd say,
I get falsely recognized/someone thinks they know me, at least once a week.
I'm not even exaggerating.
And I'm not trying to be one of those girls who's saying it because,
"yeah, everyone tells me I look like Megan Fox..."
Not at all.
No, apparently I look like your cousin, or your friend from college,
or the girl who dated that one guy, what was his name again???...
That's me.
It happens every where.
At bars, at restaurants, shopping, working, weddings, there is always someone
who thinks they know me, but they're not sure how.
I get it, I'm generic looking.
wait, is that the girl from the bar who wouldn't pay the bathroom attendant last weekend?
The most recent situation was Tuesday at the school I was working at.
A very large, and very vivacious African American woman came hauling up to me,
grabbed my arm and pulled me aside and said,
"Now girl, I know I know you. Which high school did you go to?"
"Norfolk Senior High." I repeated.
Which is roughly 800 miles from Chicago. In northeastern Nebraska.
So that connection would have been real out there...
"Hmm, really? How do I know you then? Because I know I do. I know I do!"
It's how it always go.
I think I know that girl from college. Is she the creep who used to try to catch the stray cats on campus?
A previous situation was just a few days before that, last Friday evening in Wrigleyville.
The door guy at the bar we were heading into looked at me and laughed and said:
"Damn, you finished that bottle fast."
So I thought that he was either implying:
a. I already looked drunk- which made me feel bad because it was only 6:00 p.m. and I wasn't!
or
b. he thought I was sneaking a bottle into the bar.
"What? I don't have a bottle." I said as I opened my purse to prove it to him.
And then he looked all confused and said,
"Sorry, I thought you were someone else."
You and the rest of the world.
Isn't that the girl who performs at little kids' birthday parties?
So after many years of trying to figure out what to do with this super power of mine,
I've finally decided.
I'm going to screw with people.
From here on out, I am going to be that girl they know.
When someone says, "hey I recognize you, are you..."
I'm just going to butt in right there and say,
"Yes, yes I am. Now how the hell have you been and why has it been so long?"
And then we'll take it from there.
The Most Indistinguishable Girl in the World:
At the doctor's office,
they've never asked her to fill out a form.
She's been invited to six high school reunions,
none of which were from the school she went to.
She gets told "welcome back"
to places she's never been.
People often recognize her from the gym,
even though she doesn't belong to one.
When she's growing out her hair,
people tell her they like her new haircut.
Waitresses will bring her extra ranch,
even though she didn't ask for it.
She's been yelled at in sign language,
on more than one occasion.
and then accidentally walked into a Nicki Minaj concert.
She's considered a "regular"
at places she's never been.
For Halloween she went as herself,
nobody recognized her.
She doesn't often drink beer, but when she does,
it's always something you can't remember.
She is
the most indistinguishable girl in the world.
Happy Friday.
