Well TGIF!
and TGIAHW!
(Thank God It's A Holiday Weekend)
It's just not as catchy as tgif though, huh?
I hope you all have great plans that involve
being outside,
eating a lot of Amurican food
and drinking a lot of Amurican beer.
Memorial Day is like the primer for the 4th of July
and that's why I love it.
I also love that today I have a very fun guest blogger on here!
I've been reading her blog for awhile now and am always
entertained by her off beat humor and witty writing style.
And when I say "off beat humor" I obviously mean that as a compliment.
Because on beat humor is so cliche..
Anyway, meet Bonnie from
and then get over to her blog already!
Hi!
I'm Bonnie and stoked out of my freaking mind to be over on Taylor's blog today. I've got mad respect for anyone who can be hot, funny, and sarcastic all without blinking an eye. Hence... my girl crush on Taylor. I've been given a lot of nicknames over the course of my life, but the one I prefer is Bon Bon. So if you feel in the nickname-best-bud kind of mood, you can call me Bon. Or if you feel in a normal mood, you can call me Bonnie. Whatevs. The nickname you can not call me is Bonnarrhea. I do not like that name.
I used to have pink hair before I got a real job. Now I have a real job but I don't have pink hair anymore. You can't have it all people. I write over at Life of Bon. I try my best at being a wife- a gig that is new to me this past year. I guess you could say I've got a small crush on this guy.
Ahem... the one without all the hair... If you're wondering why my hubby has got a giant teddy bear on his shoulders, it was an experiment to see if we are ready to have babies. We are not.If you're wondering why the walls are lime green in our apartment, it's because I made a terrible, terrible mistake. It's fixed now.If it weren't for blogging I would have long been driven to insanity by now. That's because I spend my days in the company of punk seventeen year olds. Mostly I try to teach them how to write thesis statements and how to tell the difference between your and you're. It's a lot harder than you'd think to get that rule to stick, I tell you. Even though those high schoolers can be a bunch of bratty ingrates they have somehow completely stolen my heart. Ain't that always the way it is with bratty ingrates?!?! They're always up to mischief and half of the time I swear, they're getting me in trouble on purpose. For example, the other day the students had to make a poster listing everything they would do if they found out they were going to die in six months. I skimmed the posters quickly, they looked good enough, and so I said to my student aide, "Aide! Tape these posters in the hall so everyone can see how hard we've been a-working in here!"
And that was that. Yesterday I was sitting at my desk in between classes. You know, just dinking around, surfing the net while the little ruffians wandered their way into my classroom. "Mrs. Larsen, may I have a word with you in the hallway?" The sternness of the voice made me jump. It was the Vice Principal of the school. In my classroom. Watching me scroll around on Etsy. I obediently followed VP out into the hallway. I could quickly tell that the situation was one of utmost gravity. "Mrs. Larsen. I have to talk to you about something quite serious." "Ok..." "We can not have anybody making any death threats to the president at this school. It is strictly prohibited." "Ok..." I thought quickly to the last time time I threatened to kill Obama. Nothing came to mind. "I hope you understand." "Um... yah, actually... I don't. I have never threatened Obama. In fact, I couldn't possibly care less about the guy." "The school received a report of a death threat. On these posters in the hallway, the students have indicated that they are planning to kill the president." VP directed my eyes to a comment written on one of the giant posters hanging in the hall.
"If I found out I was going to die from a terminal disease, I'd shoot the president."
I turned red immediately. Kids these days. They'll write anything if you let them. "Oh, wow. I'm sorry. I didn't notice that." "It's okay. Just take it down. You were reported this morning, so I had to come down myself to investigate, and I found the claims against you to be true." Whoa whoa whoa. Now this was starting to sound like some kind of a criminal case. I was reported? What does that even mean? Somebody really thought that I've been down here in this corner of the school, plotting with my students to kill Mr. Prez?
"I'm sorry VP."
"It's okay, Mrs. Larsen. You just need to be aware that those threats are inappropriate, and the posters need to be taken down immediately. This kind of behavior should not be encouraged." Which surprised me, because I always had thought it was okay to encourage assassination. "Okay no problem. I'll take them down right now." VP started walking away and I stared at the posters in bewilderment, trying to figure out what students had written that, how it had gotten past me, and what teacher cared enough to read the poster and then "report" me. "Oh and Mrs. Larsen?" VP turned around. "Yes?" "You'll also need to take the poster down with the threat to Justin Beiber." "Justin Beiber?" "Yes. It is not okay for your students to write they are going to slap him across the face."
And with that, VP was gone, marching down the hallways to maintain the perfect order that exists within these four walls.
Once he was out of sight, I studied the posters carefully. Upon further examination I discovered I had actually been let off easy. In reality there were three threats to the president, (don't ask me why they all suddenly want to kill the poor man. You know how it is with16 year olds- one person says something and the whole lot of them jump on the bandwagon.) two threats to Justin Beiber, and one disillusioned student wrote that he planned to "knock up Selena Gomez" before he kicked the bucket.
Moral of the story: Teenagers will pull a fast one on you if you're not careful. You gotta keep your eyes on them at all times. Watch out for the ones in your neighbordhood- you don't know what they could be plotting. On that note- I guess it's time for me to sign off. But the fun don't stop here. I've got tons more nuggets of goodness and hilarity from those seventeen year olds like the time I pranked them real good, the stupid questions that come flying out of their mouths, and the ever present confusion of whores and horse.
Come over and say hi already!
