(As if this even really needs an explanation.)
1. First and foremost. Being tossed into the cruelties of the real world, working an 8-5 job has us far enough removed from that glorious period in life known as “college” to wonder if it even really happened. And yet, we’re close enough to those four magic years that at times we can actually still taste the vodka on our breath and feel the buzz of no responsibility. Summer is that brief departure from the real world that provides us 20-somethings with something to look forward to for the other nine months out of the year.
2. Summer is the time for young singles to thrive. All of those people who got married and popped out babies are presumably still married and popping out babies while the rest of us are getting sloppy at the beach or the rooftop pool (let’s just pretend) or even just the back patio. Don’t worry, we’ll send you a mobile picture of us drinking in a lounge chair to make up for all of the mobile pictures you sent us of your baby.
3. It’s our break. As if it’s not pathetic enough we no longer have the luxury of having one month off at Christmas, or two weeks off for Spring Break, we’re still subjected to the drunken shenanigans of SB 2012 thanks to our younger “friends” on Facebook. Enough with the status updates asshole, we know you’re “like totally excited to head to Cabo for seven days with my besties!” We don’t need a play-by-play.
4. It’s necessary for our self esteem. We’re still at that superficial age when the outcome of our day is highly dependent on what we see in the mirror in the morning/how tan our skin is. And I currently don’t like what I see, mostly because my skin is now translucent and I can’t actually see anything. The only thing I seem to notice are my dark roots and traces of the bronzer I apply to my entire body with an industrial sized paint roller.
5. Social Media is not forgiving. When I see a notification I have been tagged in an unexpected photo or two, I nearly go into cardiac arrest. That insecure girl from #4 doesn’t do so well with photos during the winter months when she is suffering from W.U.D. (Winter Ugly Disorder.)
6. Summer music. It just feels more acceptable to be caught listening to douchey, upbeat pop music while lying in the sun. I’ll be the first to jam out to a little Party in the USA or Firework on a hot July day. But should these songs come in the winter; my ears almost simultaneously start to bleed.
7. It helps us to forget. Sitting outside, enjoying a $2 Tuesday in the evening sun at a cozy little beer garden, takes us back to a simpler time in life. A time when we could drink to the point of ridiculous on any given Tuesday night just because we could. Which brings me to #8.
8. Going to work hung-over is easier in the summer. Because when we drink on a random Tuesday to the point of ridiculousness now, we actually have to go to work the next day. And it’s a helluva lot easier to get up in the morning when it’s not freezing with a chance of snow and a side of wind so strong it makes you want to jump into the river just to get away from it.
9. Summer clothes. We’re still in our prime here, some of us might even have better bodies now than we did in college on account of no longer attending nightly keggers or midnight runs to Taco Bell. So enough with the chunky sweaters and jeans tucked into boots, we need to shed our winter attire and break out the Daisy Dukes and crop tops.
10. Because we just need it. We just really need summer, isn’t that enough? Most of us have jobs we hate, rent we can’t pay for an apartment we don’t love, students loans we can’t afford to pay back for a degree that got us nowhere, and a twitter account that doesn’t have nearly enough followers. So give us summer, it’s all we’ve got right now. And in return, we promise to drink the shit out of it.
