Just another Friday afternoon…with the time barely ticking away. I can’t stress the pain in which I feel from the hours of 2 p.m. until 5 p.m. It’s like some sort of weird time warp in which the time does not move on Friday afternoons. It doesn’t matter how often I sniff the hand sanitizer in my desk or check weather.com or scroll my LinkedIn profile to see who has viewed it in the past 7 days, the clock is at a standstill. And so I wait. I remember back in the day when the only waiting I knew on a Friday afternoon was the Runza line at the Union. Or simply waiting on my hangover to disperse. But I digress, I don’t have it in me to go down that road again right now. I’ve already walked down memory lane once today and now have two scuffed knees and a very sore toe because of it.
My coworkers and myself were attempting to get some joy out of this everlasting afternoon by watching out the window to the break dancers below. They were less than par dancers if you ask me, performing mundane tricks like spinning on their head, jumping over each other’s backs, front flips, all lame “moves.” So I might have mentioned that I know a few break dancing tricks myself. This was a big mistake, similar to the time I agreed to perform my high school routine to the song “Sweet Dreams” for the back office when it came on the radio. Don’t think I’ll ever live that one down. Anyway, I had to put my money where my mouth was and show how I could hold my left foot with my right arm and jump through it- a move I used to be able to do without a second thought. So I gave it a try. And in one swift and very awkward motion I jammed the foot I was holding into my stomach and then immediately fell (extremely hard) onto both knees. It hurt like hell, physically and mentally. Not to mention the rumble through the office sounded like Precious hit the ground with the girl from Glee on her back. So yeah, that’s why I sit in pain right now and continue to sniff my hand sanitizer hoping the vodka fumes will seep into my bloodstream somehow.
So is it 5:00 yet? But seriously, this day needs to be done. I have such great plans of doing nothing tonight I can barely stand it. TGIF isn't really until it's TGIFat5. I should put that on a T Shirt. I'm sure offices would eat that shit up. It's weird how "office jokes" are usually so different from those jokes in the outside world. Okay, I need to head to the bathroom for a little fresh air. Really hope no one is in there, there's nothing worse than walking into an office bathroom and running into other people.
Happy first Friday of 2012. Go nuts.
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