Long story short.

Long story short: the fancy cosmetic dentist who works across the hall from me fixed my dagger tooth free of charge today because he thought I was a sad little homeless girl. It was awesome.

Here's a few minor details:

One of Dr. Smile's other client's is Bill Rancic (Giuliana's husband duh.) He's just one of the many celebs who turn to Smile Chicago to get their grill fixed.

I didn't shower before work today. I dressed in a weird dress/shirt circa 2007 paired with some gnarly leggings I put on while still drunk. I may or may not have brushed my hair.

My eyes were bloodshot. I had Duncan Donuts on my breath.

I walked across the hall to the dentist office empty handed because I had planned to just pop in to ask for advice. I didn't actually intend to appear quite so homeless.

When I explained I had no money I meant on me, not in general.

The doctor looked at me with kind eyes when I told him I had a sword like tooth in the back of my mouth. Then he kindly told me it would be okay and he would see what he could do.

The doctor and his attractive hygienist patted me on the back when I left the room.

I waited behind another patient to discuss payment with the receptionist. But she waved me off and smiled and said "I'll come find you."

So I walked back to my office.

Minutes later she appeared and told me, "No charge today, sweetheart. This one was on us." Then she too patted me on the back...

It was all pretty weird. I never get called sweetheart.