LFM #1- Dear 2011

Dear 2011,

Seems like it was just yesterday we welcomed you into this world with optimistic thoughts and posts, “2011 is going to be a great year! I can just feel it.” And then with one simple and sloppy countdown you vanished. Leaving behind only iphone screenshots of the day it hit 11/11/11 and a few life lessons and Kim Kardashian landing the coveted spot of “most talked about celeb.” Did you have anything to do with that, by the way?Gross. Hopefully 2012 has better taste in celebs. I’m pulling for Selena Gomez. Or maybe the Mayans, I heard they're going to have a stellar year.

As for lessons learned, well this list is quite long, 2011. So kudos to you for actually trying to make a difference in this world (besides all of those tornado's and tsunamis and what not, WTF was that all about?) Here’s a brief rundown of what I took away.

When in doubt, blame Zanny the Nanny.

Don't announce your pregnancy the day a Kardashian announces their divorce.

Working from 8-5 isn’t as fun as it appears on The Office.

Osama and Obama are not the same people. Nor is Charlie Sheen.

Horsing around and towel slapping naked little boys is no longer considered appropriate in today's world.

The roller coaster ride that is Michelle Duggar's uterus stops after 20 passengers.

Outside of the Rail, Hot Carls have a completely different meaning. Outside of the Rail, life has a completely different meaning.

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday, Today is Friday, Friday, and after that comes Saturday.

Time just completely stops from 3:00-5:00 p.m. on any given weekday.

Westboro Baptist church does allow new members in. They meet on Sundays at 7 p.m.

Cold-calling is a little taste of hell on earth.

There's a reason a Maid of Honor shouldn't be allowed to wear a white. And her name is Pippa.

Topeka is a renter's market. Topeka is a hellhole market. Topeka never happened.

Babies need to chill their shit out on Facebook or get their own page.

Bo Pelini needs to chill his shit out. And then get the hell out of Nebraska.

Engagement season is officially December 20- January 1st. Anytime after this no longer counts.

Life after college only gets harder. Unless you're Tim Tebow. Or any other professional athlete.

Everything happens for a reason, and in the end, always seems to work out just as it should.

Except for feathers in the hair, there is no reason this should have ever happened.

I could really go on and on, but some of us have to work today. Keep it real, 2011. See you never again.